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Viewing 10 - 18 out of 18 Blogs.
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Lucky lucky me, I have new neighbours on one side of me. The owners have let it out through an agency. They must be only 18 & have a constant stream of visitors in & out of the house at all times of day. I know this because they do not come & go quietly. Trance music blaring out all times of the day boom, boom, boom. Not sure if I'm mad at their taste in music or that it's really loud when I am trying to rest or sleep. They are, like most youngsters big drinkers, even at eight in the morning in the garden running out to get mixers so they can carry on. Maybe I'm jealous but I don't think so because I can see it will take them less time to get where I am, as I don't remember being quite that serious about drinking at that age. Is it me or are people with drink problems getting younger & younger? Anyway I need my rest & my sleep & so do my other neighbours who have young children. Fingers crossed it is just the initial moving in parties & doesn't continue or you may see me on the front page of the newspapers for a crime of passion! 
Tags: Angry
I am so thankful last week is over. If only I knew when I was younger the permanent damage I could cause to my body & mind through alcohol abuse. I can't walk very far & I can't grip things properly with my hands. My brain just shuts down & the slightest thing tires me out so easily. I am just so fed up with not being able to get around properly, I have always been so independent & active. Worked my way up through higher management for over 25 years & now I feel completely useless. I indulge myself with the occasional cake or chocolate to cheer myself up but I can't even do that anymore as I was diagnosed a diabetic last week. Yep, as a result of drinking & damaging my pancreas. Being unable to work for up to 2 years has already caused a big strain on my finances so the car had to go last week as I couldn't afford the repayments. Thankfully I was able to sell for the same amount I owed but nothing left over to buy an old banger. So today I had to go into town & got a bus but by the time I had finished I was so wiped out had to get a cab home which is an expense I can't afford. Catching a bus or walking would be ok under normal circumstances. These things are just the tip of the iceburg & if you kept with me & read this through I am sorry for dripping on, I find it hard to do this so it is really for myself more than anything. I am sick of being like this I want to be my healthy active optimistic self again just without the alcohol. I am not usually so self absorbed but needed to have a moan. I've kept silent for too long & feel that this is my outlet for now. So, again, apologies if you read this. 
Tags: Sad
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Weary
Posted On 07/07/2007 11:09:47
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Am tired today. I just have no energy whatsoever, curled up trying to catch up on my Harry Potter before the new book comes out but my eyelids keep going southbound. I don't understand if these days I get are down to me being ill or staying sober. I'm sorry for all the things I don't remember doing, I'm sorry I drank so much, I'm sorry I put my friends & family through a nightmare at the start of the year wondering if I was going to live or die. I don't really feel as though I have achieved anything because I feel so ill at times I don't even want a drink. I just want my mobility & energy back so I can start living a normal life & deal with my sobriety full on, then I will feel I am achieving something.
Tags: Tired
My Son Jay passed his exams after his first year at university yippee. He is studying Archaeological Forensic Science, I'm so proud. Where the brains came from I do not know!! 
Tags: Wonderful
Can't get the blingyblob thingy to work. Will try again tomorrow when not so tired. 
What a difference it makes to wake up with the sun shining. 
Tags: Happy
Drove 200 miles round trip to pick-up my Sons belongings from his university accommodation for the Summer. Loaded the car up in the pouring rain. Bus drove by & gave me a power shower!! Handed the keys in only to arrive home & realise we forgot something so guess what I'm doing tomorrow. Another 200 miles. 
Tags: Tired
Hospital trip today. I was told not to be so impatient it will take time to get well again. They stressed that I must never have a drink. The thought of never upsets me but for today I'm cool 
Tags: Happy
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