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Acceptance - This is a copy of the post for this weeks "just like meetings" group. A few of us get together in live chat Sundays at 7pm pacific, 10pm eastern ... please feel free to join us! Hi folks,
We had a little discussion for our meeting Sunday evening, mostly being centered around acceptance. There are many types of acceptance needed to do a solid recovery deal.
"We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed." -Big Book, pg.30
This is the first acceptance, but only the first ... several other types were discussed. To paraphrase a famous writer, recovery is a commitment to reality, no matter what the cost.
Unless i can somewhat accurately see and accept who and what i am, i have no hope of changing anything. That path is sometimes difficult ... it was very difficult for me. i not only suffered from addiction, i also suffered from some medical and mental conditions that required i take medications, some of which were not approved of by those in the meetings i attended.
Well, first off, why i talked to those wonderfully opinionated folks about my meds, i'll never know. It's like asking a doctor for an opinion on what's wrong with and how to fix my scooter ... most of 'em just didn't know what they were talking about, but then, that didn't stop them from talking ... ever ... at least until that Fellowship published the booklet In Times Of Illness. That publication shut up some few of the folks ... the ones who were willing to and knew how to read, anyway.
That share was meant for a sponsor's ears, not for the meetings, but as a newcomer, i didn't have a clue. My bad.
Then there's the acceptance that my friends -really just my customers and using buddies, but again, i was clueless- were not all that excited about having their "connection" trying to get clean. Oops.
Then there was the acceptance that the folks i met in meetings were just like me, mostly clueless and self-centered in the extreme. Ouch!
Then came the acceptance that my self-directed efforts at recovery weren't working so well. That one really hurt. i thought i could learn some of the jargon and how to do the "hip, slick and cool" thing at the meetings, quote a line or two from the literature, and that would be enough to stay clean. Oops again!
Then there was the discovery that some of the folks i was talking with on a regular basis were playing the same kind of self-deception games i was ... when that first friend committed suicide, i was off to the races for a while ... i stayed loaded for a long time over that one. When i made it back, i remember this one lady with 9 months [that was a long darn time to me back then] being all ticked off and telling me and the other newcomer [a really cute female] in the room to "go out and get done," and we indeed went back out ... and once again i made it back; but she didn't. Don't know whatever happened to the miserable cow that sent us out, but i've never seen her again, and i'm okay with that. Acceptance that some folks were not going to be happy i made it back after a relapse was a challenge, but it had to be done.
Then i picked up this book on PTSD in veterans. The introduction had a listing of a couple dozen symptoms. As i read it, i realized i'd experienced all but 3 on that list, and magically that d**ned book went flying accross the room to be ignored for the next month. i got the overdue notice from the library, and dug out the book. Just for the heck of it, i read the rest of the intro. Ironically, it said that i may have just been "triggered," and that if that were the case, to set the book aside and come back to it. That was a hard pill to swallow.
Why is that Muppet-named freak writing on and on about all these goofy things? To illustrate the idea that there are many, many challenges to our acceptance that we get to face if we're going to do this recovery thing.
Even the 3 "indispensable" principles of honesty, opened-mindedness and willingness often have to be learned inside the rooms ... i forgot them in my disease, and i'm throughly convinced i'm not alone it that!
Be as patient with yourselves as you can this week.
e-hug
Subject: A lighter look at sponsorship. A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost, so he descended a bit and shouted to a man on the ground, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man on the ground replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground somewhere between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be a sponsor," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, I believe, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and, fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The man below responded, "You must be a sponsee." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep and you expect other people to solve your problems. The fact is you're in exactly the same place you were before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault." --author unknown
Tags: Wonderful
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Bill W
Posted On 01/26/2008 01:34:00
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Yesterday was the anniversary of Bill W's death, January 24,1971. What a difference one life can make. Each of us are modern descendants and bearers of the torch of freedom from alcoholism, addiction and other things. We each are but a ripple in the pond of AA that he envisioned. Today in prayer and meditation i want to give thanks for Bill's life and legacy and for the precious gift of my own sobriety. What can i do today for someone else that would honor Bill's memory?
http://www.aabibliography.com/aaphotonewhtml/obituary_of_bill_wilson_co.html
Tags: Happy
While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at
the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you
settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom
see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator
and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds
himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance
is a clubhouse and sta nding in front of it are all his friends and
other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run
to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times
they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are
having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while
the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on
heaven wher e St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of
contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing
the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and
St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another
in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean
heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the
middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up
the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around
his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate
lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great
time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable.
What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we
were campaigning... Today you voted."
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enough
Posted On 01/15/2008 01:11:06
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Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, 'I love you and I wish you enough'. The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom'. They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?' Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?' 'I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said. 'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?' She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone'. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them'. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory. I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and
everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.?
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them. Only if you wish send this to the people you will never forget and remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don't send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends. TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH Have a Happy New Year and "Enough"
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip ?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
> Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would
happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
>
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
>
Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help them refresh
their perspective and appreciation.
"Life is too short and friends are too few."
Tags: Reflective
Hello, We are pleased to let you know that we are starting to offer a daily email service for Just For Today, Daily Meditations For Recovering Addicts from NA World Services. This is in response to numerous requests we have had from the fellowship. In our role as the holders of the fellowship's copyrighted material we have been unable to give permission to others to publish the fellowship's literature in this manner. Since the fellowship seems to appreciate this electronic service we have found a fairly simple way to provide it free of charge. This service will be available via subscription. The sign up area for this subscription is located at http://www.jftna.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi . There is also a link to this page from our regular subscription page at http://portaltools.na.org/PortalTools/subscriptions/Login.cfm . From this page you can click on the “Subscribe to the daily JFT mailing list" and it will take you to the special sign up page for this service listed above. Once you enter your subscription information and hit submit, you will receive a confirmation email with specific instructions to complete your subscription. You will then receive the JFT meditations in your email box daily. If you are interested in viewing the daily meditations online, you may do so at http://www.jftna.org/jft/index.php . The message changes daily on that website. Thanks for allowing us to serve NA World Services ------------------------------------------------------ Hi folks, i cut-n-pasted this from an e-mailing i got this morning ... i'm betting there's one or two of us here that might be interested.  e-hug, aNiMaL
Tags: Happy
Carrots, Eggs, & Coffee!
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of
coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to ma ke
it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It
seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and
placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil In the first she
placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed
ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots
out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in
a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to
her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did
and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take
an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard
boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, 'What does it
mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its
thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting
through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee
beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they
had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with
pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength.
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial
hard ship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my
shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff
spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the
very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate
yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot,
an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you
strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they
just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest
future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in
life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to
you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or
another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who
make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to
those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in
your life.
If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to
brighten someone's day with this message!
May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!!!
i knew there was a reason i like coffee so much!
Tags: Happy
Wow, i just got done with a very interesting meeting with my sponsor; finishing my 12th Step. He said something that really surprised me ... in almost 22 years of recovery, he has only had a dozen or so guys finish all 12 Steps. That was really surprising to me ... but then in thinking about it, maybe not. It may be the area i attend meetings in, but it's my honest observation that maybe two of ten who come to the rooms actually ever get a sponsor, and not even close to half of those ever accept that gift (i.e. use that sponsorship). i've written this before, but it used to be that if i wanted to insure that i would never see or hear from someone again, all i would have to do is agree to sponsor them ... i'm becoming more aware of why that is today. The courage required to work on the self, or even to look, for that matter, is not often found in most. i've gotten a reputation as something of a "step nazi" in my neighborhood ... i'm good with that today. Frankly, it's called a "Tweleve Step Fellowship" for a reason. i've even been known to say things like that in meetings, even adding that if one isn't working on the Steps, they're just visiting, but please KEEP COMING BACK! Folks can visit if they want, and as far as i'm concerned, they're welcome to visit as long as they like! So, i've probably just convinced most of my readers i'm a judgemental anal sphincter. Get over it! I "visited" the rooms for almost 8 1/2 years before i could learn to have enough trust in this deal to actually try working the steps in earnest. Before, i started with what the literature calls "two stepping." Then progressed to what i refer to as the recovery waltz {one, two, three, out, one, two, three, out...} because the 4th step scared the poop out of me. Then i did a few abortive attempts at four, and even one fifth, after which i bought one. These are not recovery methods i recomend to anyone, they are simply my personal experiences. Why am i writing this? Well, a couple of the guys i work with have been getting into some judgemental stuff, complaining about the general ignorance of the program among people in the rooms. With what i've observed, this is no surprise. Few read the literature, fewer still try to apply it to their lives. So, if you're new, or not, and it seems like a lot of folks are talking out of body parts not too close to their vocal cords, well, they probably are, so my suggestion is to try to be tolerant of those around you, and maybe even read the literature for yourself. Secondly, i want to encourage those who are working the steps with a sponsor to keep at it. It's been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life so far; one i intend to repeat. Thirdly, if you're working the steps with others in a program of recovery, i want to say THANK YOU, AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! Don't give up. We need you! e-hug
Tags: Reflective
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