I have a situation I would appreciate some feed back on. It goes like this:

As a result of my drinking and drugging and all round unhealthy behaviors of the past. I destroyed my marriage .and gave up the right to be in my two boys lives. whom I adored with all my heart and was very active in, until my untimely relapse .they where both very young and unaware of all the dysfunctions I was bring into there world, when I decided to leave. And even though I never stopped paying child support and a day never passed that I did not think of them. I was back then, incapable of being in there lives. Well it’s been twenty years since I last saw or spoke to them. Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet and my involvement with the steps I have been able to locate them; I sent them a very simple email asking them if they would like to communicate with me on some level. I received a separate email form each of them. Both expressing a desire to open up some kind of communication with me. As I read there emails I could tell I had done a lot of damage and that both children have anger toward me. Which I do whole heartily understand. Still they do want to start allowing me in there lives. So I read the big books chapter on [the family afterwards], I prayed and meditated, spoke to my sponsor and prayed and prayed begging for direction and guidance. I then sent each one of them a very simple email stating that  whatever level they want to relate on, I would accept , I owned my part in the damage done, leaving out anyone else and also put in my email addy, my phone number and my home address and reinsured them that I never stopped loving them.

 So that’s where I leave off, any input would be appreciated

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There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner. As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree. As he went further, he saw a large wild Tom turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining. A voice spoke to him and said, "Pray first, aim high and stay focused." However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake. Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'Pray, Aim high and Stay focused." So, the man decided to listen to God's voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it. And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family. The snake (satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God. Moral of the story: Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God.

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Because I am in recovery and I am practicing the 12 steps to the best of my ability on a daily basis. I am constantly trying to do the next right thing. I find myself checking my motives before I take part in anything or activities that comes with dealing with people in and out of the program, [on advice from sponsor].I truly do endeavor to be kind and loving toward all and that is not easy for this alcoholic, addict. Nevertheless I find myself constantly let down and disillusioned by other people’s actions in the program. I presume that because they are in recovery, that they are making an effort to live a respectable and spiritual life. However my sponsor has so kindly pointed out to me, that when I expect anything from anyone, I am in the mist of manufacturing a premeditated resentment. I realize I have miles to go and oh so many lessons to understand.

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"But the ex-problem drinker or addict who has found the solution in the program, who is
properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the confidence of
another alcoholic or addict in a few hours.

Steps One and Two are conclusions of the heart. Once we have the
necessary information and make these conclusions, the following time table
for working the rest of the Steps presents itself in the Big Book.

Third Step..........Being convinced

Fourth Step.... ....at once

Fifth Step..........at the first opportunity

Sixth Step...... ...for an hour

Seventh Step.... When ready

Eighth Step........ We made it when we took inventory

Ninth Step..........Now

Tenth Step......... As we cleaned up the past

Eleventh Step.....

1. On awakening

2. As we go through the Day

3. When we retire at night

Twelfth Step.......Frequent contact with newcomers

Now, if your saying  that you should "Take your Time" doing the steps{like I did}
these references have helped me to get  started on this wonderful journey of ours,
after I stopped running to the nearest Blarney Stone. As clean and sober members of the program
it is our responsibility to pass the message (as outlined in the BB) to
those who have not heard it, or who have been living in the h*ll? known as
"The Fellowship" without working the program !!!

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Our troubles can be helpful because they (1)humble us, (2) wean us from the allurements of the world and drive us back to God, (3) quicken our prayers, (4) allow us to experience more of God's faithfulness, (5) make us more dependent upon God, (6) encourage us to submit to God's purpose for our lives, and (7) make us more compassionate to others in trouble

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