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Humor-Age and Wisdom When doing my journal, I can get very serious. For those that really know me, humor has been a huge part of my recovery and journey, and is evident in most of the places I frequent. My higher power certainly finds ways to make sure I don’t take life too seriously. This came from a friend, and has an element of the profound!
A wealthy old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his faithful, elderly Jack Russell named Killer, along for the company.
One day the old Jack Russell starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old Jack Russell thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old Jack Russell exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!” says the leopard, "That was close! That old Jack Russell nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Jack Russell sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old Jack Russell sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Jack Russell says...
"Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! bulls**t and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five "old" friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world. Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more "youthfully challenged." You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?
Tags: Restorationlife Coach Addiction Recovery Awakening Steps
Easier, Softer Way This is a phrase used in the bible of the original 12 step organization (known as the Big Book). As I have traveled the road of life, I often found myself looking for an easier, softer way to get what I wanted. In school, I dogged assignments and read other peoples notes. I have tried get rich quick schemes only to reinforce what I knew, if it looks too good to be true it likely is. Conversely, in sports and in my day jobs, I enjoyed the benefits of hard work. In other areas, I certainly took short cuts or made my own rules. While I openly admit that I am an addicted person who has recovered but is recovering on a daily basis, life and my chosen career point out on a regular basis that the easier, softer way is sought by many. My experience tells me there are no short cuts, to recovery, or to success in most parts of life. In sports I learned that no pain, no gain. This is my experience in life. We all need to set goals, and to set a path to achieve them. We all need to love ourselves, let go of our past, and quit trying to live our future. Golfers refer to one shot or one hole at a time; successful people live one day at a time. In common, the successful put in the work. Some can make it look easy, but in reality it is not. We all need goals, we all need plans to achieve, we all need mentors, and I believe all need faith in the fact that in this world, there is something bigger than them. Most men who try to be an island fail. I read a lot. My business life and my recovery to a better life put me in contact with a very large circle of diverse people. I am shocked at how many think there is an easier softer way to success. To the best of my knowledge, there is not. My own boneheaded mistakes keep reminding me of that fact. I am a strong advocate of 12 step programs. They are free, and provide great group therapy. Personally, in many areas like sports, career, relationships as well as recovery, I have engaged the help of outside professionals. In combination, and realizing my higher power is always there if I stay out of the way, I have been blessed with an abundant life more complete than I could have imagined. But there was lots of pain to get the gain, and for me, the easier, softer way did not work. Change, hope and serenity were achieved with guided hard work to bring out the talents within me. I am on a journey. In ways, life is more difficult today than ever, and daily I am reminded I’m on a journey whose destination is unknown to me. I do know that god gives ability; it is up to me to do the work. I have not found an easier, softer way. Need help? Reach out and ask and listen to the answers!!
Tags: Restoration Life Coach Recovery Addictionwww.hopeserenity.ca
Listening-Meditation and Coaching On a daily basis, I’ve got to remind myself about the importance of meditation. I use very simple meditation practices, but bring my mind in to a place where the squirrels quit running in my head, and I have a chance to hear my higher power’s message. In doing this, I am honoring the presence of my higher power. While taking my coaching certification, we were constantly reminded that the key role of a coach is to listen; in fact, in an ideal session the client does 80% of the talking. I have found that there are many out there who do not have someone to talk to and actually listen intently to what they are saying. It is a skill I have really improved on, and it has helped me in every phase of my life! I share the following:
We honor the spirit in other people when we listen to them.
God's messages surround us. The 24 hours before us are special, never to be repeated. The people we share the day with carry our lessons within their words and actions. Let's be vigilant in our attempts to listen.
We have so much to learn, and that's why we're here. Our lives have purpose, even though we might fail to grasp it. Remembering that God is trying to reach us in even the most mundane of circumstances keeps us attentive to everyone in our lives. Our attention to others triggers their lessons too.
The cycle is never-ending. We are not here by accident - we are here by design. The role addiction plays in our lives is part of the design. We can learn our lessons and fulfill our purpose only by acknowledging the spirit, the presence of God, within each person God has ushered to us.
I will pay special attention to the people in my life today. It's a wonderful feeling knowing they are part of God's plan for me.
Tags: Restoration
Taking Risks- Getting Outside the Box I’m a real Canadian, and as such, a hockey fan. Wayne Gretzky is a hero. I was coaching a client this morning who shared a great statement he ascribed to “The Great One”. “You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” How true is that? What do we miss because fear or a lack of confidence in our own innate abilities holds us back; stop us from taking the shot? We’ll never score in life if we don’t take a chance. In my business careers, I talked to staff about sins; sins of commission and sins of omission. I never went nuts at anyone who failed trying (unless they did the same thing repeatedly) but had very little patience for senior level employees who would not try things. Can you relate? If you’re risk adverse and afraid to act outside the box, what’s holding you back? A journey of discovery into you can offer answers!! If you don’t shoot the puck, you’ll never achieve the goal. Go ahead, take a chance.
Tags: Risk Recovery Life Coaching Addiction Recovery Coach
The face in the mirror
I like others, can be sensitive to what others say, and what I perceive they think, about me? Can anyone relate? I have a very deep faith that the higher power in my life exists within (as well as outside) me. As I go through my journey, and with the beliefs I have, I must be mindful that “the face in the mirror” is the one I have to be comfortable with! To wit: "Our inability to see beauty doesn't suggest in the slightest that beauty is not there. Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with broad enough perspective to see the beauty." -- Rabbi Harold Kushner
Who are you? You can gaze at your reflection in a mirror but you're not likely to see your true likeness. You are beautiful, unique, perfect. Do you see that?
The world needs you to see how whole and complete you are -- now. Can you begin to own your divinity? The world needs you to know who you really are so you can be the mirror for others.
"I do only want to advise you to keep growing quietly and seriously throughout your whole development; you cannot disturb it more rudely than by looking outward and expecting from outside replies to questions that only your inmost feeling in your most hushed hour can perhaps answer." -- Rainer Maria Rilke
"The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing." -- John Muir In working with both my inner self, and with others, I do it on the basis that the higher power I know created us perfect and with purpose. Time and experience has distorted that, but the being I was a birth still dwells within. The journey is to recognize that in my life, and bring it to the forefront on a daily basis! In working with others, it is my belief that we all have tremendous ability within, and that with guidance, we can make tremendous change and improvement as we align with life purpose!
Tags: Addictions Recovery Coach Life Coaching Transformation Results Purpo
Ego- Two Sides Generally, when we hear the word ego, it is said with distain. I don’t think ego is a negative; it is god given and is a part of each of us. Webster defines ego, in part, as one’s image of one’s self. We all have one. When ego is out of whack with reality, there is a problem. We can move to a place where our self-image is way too high; conversely, and as bad, we can think way too poorly of ourselves. As in all things, balance is a key, and everyone who functions well does so with healthy self-esteem; ego in balance. “It may be that problem living (drinking) is, indeed, as some psychological experts say, an ailment characterized especially by egocentricity. Not all addicted people (or people) are egotistical, although many of us have learned to see that tendency in ourselves. Others of us felt inferior most of the time; we felt equal or superior to other people only when drinking. No matter which type we were, we realize now that we were excessively self-centered, chiefly concerned about our feelings, our problems, other people’s reactions to us, and our own past and future. Therefore, trying to get into communication with and to help other people is a recovery measure for us, because it helps take us out of ourselves. Trying to heal ourselves by helping others works, even when it is an insincere gesture. Try it some time.” © 1975, AAWS, Inc., Living Sober, page 84 Because of my past, and a lot of the readings I get, the AA program forms a big part of my belief system; but it is a belief system that is applicable to every human being. I have worked diligently to try to understand who I am and why, and as the quote suggests, a big part of this has been through communication with others, both inside my recovery program and outside. In both my personal and business lives I have genuinely reached out to try and be of help to others, and try to do so in both areas on a daily basis. Today, I can honestly say I do it with sincerity. My higher power and those close to me have a way of keeping my ego in balance. In my own case, I find it at times easy to get down on myself, and internally have to remind myself of the talents I do have, and the positives I am allowed to be a part of. It’s easy for those who don’t know me and my motives to knock; today, my higher power is my judge. Conscious contact is a daily task. There is a consistency with people I work with. On the outside, the ego appears to be very healthy quite often. On the inside, most are looking for self-esteem, that healthy balance that is good ego! There’s talent within each of us, may we all find and recognize it!
Tags: Coach Hope Serenity Ego Life Coaching Recovery Self-esteem Balance
In My Head-and not paying rent For a number of years, I have been told resentments will tear me apart if I don’t deal with them. I was told, and it remains true today, that resentments are like a tenant in an apartment building who occupy space but pay no rent. The space in my head is at a premium, and I need it to be occupied gainfully. I can’t afford freeloaders. “It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harbouring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”© 2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 66 I draw much of my strength from things learned from the 12 steps as written in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. PLEASE BE AWARE that while the publication was written for those with problems with alcohol, the principals of the steps have long be recognised as a model for any human being to live a healthy life mentally. Forget the word alcohol as written above UNLESS it applies to you. Resentments are a grave malady for all human beings if allowed to live on in the head, and are not dealt with. I have found that in dealing with my own past, as much as I did not think I was carrying them, I had some deep seeded resentment that I really had to dig out, and I had carried them below the surface for decades. They truly did shut me out from appreciating the full sunshine of life. While along way from perfect even today, I became aware of the resentments I was carrying through work directed by others, and following the guides of the steps. To the best of my ability, I have dealt with long standing resentments, and in doing so, have been able to grow spiritually and grow as a person. My journey to a better life came because of an inner feeling that there was a better life available. Along the journey, I have faced some real issues, including addictions to substance and behaviours. Identifying and dealing with resentments played a huge role in the recovery of a life that has hope and serenity as key elements on a daily basis. Perfect? No. Improved? Yes. Are resentments occupying valuable space in your head and not paying rent? Are resentments keeping you from living the life you desire and deserve? You do have a choice and freedom is available to those who are prepared to change.
Tags: Addiction Addictions Recovery Coach Life Coach Coaching Transformation
Witnessing Athletic Greatness-Testament to Coaching Over the weekend I made a conscious decision to stay away from the computer, get some “social” time and catch up on rest. Part of the down time has been watching the Olympics. I have a love for sports, played competitive sports in my younger days, and have a couple of coaches who pushed me to results that maxed my talent, and ultimately, were a big reason I stayed in school and did not get into “serious” trouble. As did a large part of the world, I watched over the weekend as Michael Phelps (and his teammates) achieved 8 gold medals. There is no doubt that Phelps has unique physical gifts that give him a chance to be the best. But he preformed under immense pressure! I read fairly extensively about Phelps, and in our national paper, the headline on Saturday had Phelps giving credit to the coaching he received. A great athlete who is challenged constantly by a coach to set goals, take responsibility, be accountable, and ultimately, to deliver up to his full potential. 8 gold medals are a clear statement about the value of talent which fully utilizes great coaching, and Phelps overtly acknowledges it. We watched with pride as a Canadian lady wrestler took a gold, and what a story. A family chased from Vietnam, taken in by a rural community in the interior of British Columbia, a community with a great coach of the school wrestling team who welcomed all, large and small. A coach who took his small school team to provincial (state) recognition, and who molded an immigrant child into a world champion! The individual and team performances have been marvelous. We have seen triumph, we have seen real heartbreak. We marveled at the new world records in so many events, and I shook my head in disbelief at the men’s 100 meter sprint event. Wow! The other thing that has struck me is the amount of “personal bests” that have been achieved. Even at the highest level, not everyone has the talent to win the event outright, but all are capable of doing just a little better than ever before, and that has happened frequently. Is this not what it’s all about? Being the best you can be? You cannot control the talents of others, but in a crunch, can deliver a personal best. The consistent thing I have witnessed while watching is the role of coaches. Oft times the coach is the first person the athlete turns to after the performance is over. In interviews and coverage, athletes constantly acknowledge the role that the coach has played, not only in helping push for performance, but for just “being there” for support. I know the great feeling a coach gets when they witness a client performing at a higher level than ever before and achieving “personal bests” in areas of importance. Whether it be in an area like arriving at career goals and getting to them, setting goals for life balance and getting results, building stronger personal relationship with others or with self, forging a spiritual awakening, or living without addictions, great coaching is available and can help yield individual personal bests. I am grateful to be witnessing the great performances that athletes from around the world are delivering. I marvel at a man like Michael Phelps, and all he (with support of teammates) accomplished utilizing his god given talents, and am grateful to see all the “personal bests” that are so important to individuals. As you may guess, I truly appreciate seeing the role great coaching is playing, and the open recognition that coaching is being given. I note coaches don’t perform; they bring out the best in others. If coaching can have such an obvious positive impact on others, why aren’t we all using a “coach” to bring out the best in us in areas we want personal bests in??
Tags: Coach Coaching Addiction Recovery Coaching Life Coaching Life Purpose
I am determined to maintain the perpendicular position.
--Lucy Stone
Perpendicular lines make right angles; they make possible extensions of both height and breadth. Right angles are weight bearing. We speak of asserting something "squarely," making perpendiculars.
People who speak their minds freely and assert their individuality feel perpendicular; the corners they create, by their points of view, are sturdy and open. Others can use them to build structures on.
It's important to claim the perpendicular, even though we may feel pressured into curved or parallel positions. If we're centered in ourselves, others won't throw us off balance. Each of us needs to find our own center so that we can occupy our own place. Others will recognize us. Together we'll build high and wide.
My remotest ancestors dared to point their spines upright. I'll carry on the project they began.
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