Patience. What Is It?

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Lida Clarkson

We all want life to unfold according to our plan. After all, we are certain we know what's best for us. But hindsight quickly reminds us that few, if any, of us had included recovery in a Twelve Step program as part of our life's plan. Yet here we are, and we are now more content than we've ever been in our lives. How did this happen?

We have come to accept that God has worked in our lives in spite of ourselves. We have been protected and guided all along the way, even though on occasion we stubbornly attempted to force open doors that were not beneficial to our growth. Fortunately our Higher Power never gave up on us. We will fulfill our purpose with all the help we need when the time is right.

Remembering that opportunities come to us when their time is right allows us to wait and trust.

My patience will pay off today. I can be certain that what comes to me today is on time.

What great words, but will I ever learn?

I am constantly reminded that patience is a virtue, on the golf course, in relationships and in life. When I practice it, things go so much better, but it is a learned skill, not something that comes naturally to me.

Funny, there are many things I have tried to be patient over, and not force doors open. Some things pay off, others get frustrating. I wonder at times if patience can’t be used as a cover for procrastination; but then I must remember there is a god’s will that is different than mine at times!

Hard to believe that!

Life is not unfolding as I had planned it, but it is unfolding. I never would have guessed as much challenge would have come along in recovery, but then, I know I’m only given what I can handle, and have handled the crap to date without going back to mood altering substance and the problems that came with that behavior.

I will wait with patience for the sweet fruit and keep my journey going as I understand it is meant to. I am will remain grateful for the blessings received. When there is adversity going on, it is easy to forget the many great things I do enjoy in life.

I’ll keep trying to stay out of my own way!! I hope to become ready.

Tags: Recovery Coach Life Transformation Awakening Purpose

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Courage and Willing to Change

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says: "I'll try again tomorrow."
--Anne Hunninghake

“A key quality that distinguishes a successful athlete, or a top-notch performer in any field, is the way he responds to his bad days. Everyone has good days and bad days, and the good ones are certainly easier to handle. But do we allow the bad ones to throw us off our course? Are we so shaken by our mistakes or troubles that we lose our focus on our goals?

Adult development is a process; it's never an end goal that we reach and hold. Our healing and recovery includes preparing ourselves to respond well to the bad days. We can do that by keeping our eye on the big picture, knowing that however bad things may seem at the moment, they will change. We learn to reach deep into our spiritual center for the courage to stay focused in the midst of our hardest days. We don't have to do it alone. We have the spiritual support of our Higher Power and the companionship of our friends to keep us on the path.

Today I will stay in touch with my spiritual center to find the courage for another day.”

As you can guess, as a Life Coach whose niche is addiction recovery, this writing hit me between the eyes like a 2’x4’. It is not only applicable to today’s journey for me, but to those I coach and those who require coaching.

To respond to those bad days, and keep moving forward, an athlete requires the tools that allow them to take things in stride. High performance people in athletics, and most in life, are coached to learn tools and bring out the best from within.

Courage is needed to change. Courage is needed to put new tools into practice, even after a less than stellar day.

One of the great things about coaching is working with people with courage. They have the potential, and it is a blessing to see them respond to the challenges they face.

It is great to see people realise their potential and win in the game of life!

Tags: Www.hopeserenity Recovery Coach Addiction Spiritual Awakening

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Insanity? Restored to?

I think we all go through rollercoaster rides. Even though I’ve been on the recovery journey for a while, things happen, we face stress, and even though we try to turn it over, a black cloud appears! This isn’t the first one I’ve had, nor will it be the last. I will use the tools given to me to get through today without using anything!

A good reminder why we ask to be restored to sanity. While not generally certifiable, I do have my moments, and have to remember long and hard there is one who can and will restore me!

A funny question came over the computer as I was in this dark spot, and I’m not sure I would have picked the “normal” answer! Try it on for size.

Are You Insane?

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at you from time to time. This little test should get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines a patient to be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. We offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

OK, here's your test:

1. Would you use the spoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon."

"No," answered the Director.

========

"A normal person would pull the plug."

As I go through the day, I will keep this in mind, and call on my toolbox frequently. The beauty is that recovery has taught me “this too will pass”.

A few moments of insanity?

Yes.

But it will be restored!!

Tags: Recovery Coach Transformation Spititual Purpose Www.hopeserenity.ca

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Reflection and a Hard Head

What a good weekend, but a great reminder that kids are for the young, and I don’t get smarter about some things with age. It was great to spend the time at my youngest daughters and in the company of a terrific son-in-law.

All three of the grand kids were there, the oldest finishing off a weeks vacation with her cousins. Funny how different kids are with their parents not around!

Some great learning and remember when’s!

After 25 years on not ice skating, you are not a whirling dervish as you step on the ice. Not even ready for the senior Olympics. The good news, I made it around the ice several times without falling, and could skate better than my 6 year old grand son who has had two lessons in his life. From a practical stand point, that won’t last for long! I’m grateful for not inflicting harm on myself!!

I was exposed to the computer guitar thing, Wii, and a few other things I don’t understand. I’m still not sure what some of this stuff is about, the guitar plays away and you “finger” buttons!! I love my computer for research and communicating, marvel at Skype, but don’t think I’ll ever get a love of games!! A generation thing?

One year olds still cry at odd times of the night, and do interesting things with food! As well, with baby blue eyes and little fingers, they can get just about anything they want. How come they can respond to reasonably complex directions, like open the door and get into your car, but can’t speak??

One day the little doll will break into a multi-syllable paragraph and tell us how funny we are!! Who’s the bright one, the baby or the doting adults??

 Got to spend some time with some friends, play 2 new golf courses, play a small course with the 2 oldest grand kids and my son-in-law, and just feel love. Also, stayed way from the computer!

The bad thing with long weekends is that they end, and you come home to reality!

Why does a man in Benin want to get me hooked up with bogus traveler’s cheques and wrap Christian salutations around it? When will I learn that if it looks too good to be true it likely is! Is it possible that we will have 36 hours without rain??

The trials of this world!

I coached a couple of people today, and have a brand new client starting tomorrow! I’m looking forward to that and really enjoy watching my clients grow!

Time is flying by! We are building a new house in another town, and there is some apprehension about that, a starting over, but I know all will be all right and no change comes without uncertainty! Things always work how they are meant to, and generally, without a lot of help from me!

I skipped a meal today, and am starting to feel the chemical imbalance happen, and don’t feel that I got enough done.

When did that weekend end?

A softer head would have kept me off skates, and I would not have done some of the things I did today. On some items, I’m a slow learner with a hard head. But that’s why it’s a journey, not a destination!!

Tags: Recovery Life Coach Keith Trasformation Spititual Awakening Www.hopese

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Live and Let Live

A good reminder for me.

I started on the journey to get a life back that had fullness, happiness, hope and serenity. I worked very hard at that process, have had a spiritual awakening, and benefited from the advice of professionals and peers who had walked before me. I wanted what I perceived many to have, a life filled with hope and serenity. A life in which I found my purpose; a life with purpose.

My higher power has been very good to me, I am blessed. I am well on the way to the life I wanted, although goals have changed as progress occurred.

I have to remind myself, I have been given a life to live. It is OK to live it every day to the fullest, free of my past.

Others too have lives, and on a daily basis, I must remember they have the same right to live their lives in a way they see fit. I will offer suggestions when asked, but all have the right to make their own mistakes. I am constantly reminded god doesn’t require my help today, but I require help from the god of my understanding on a daily basis.

May I spend today living, and may you also!

Tags: Addictions Recovery Coach Life Coach Transformation Spiritual Awakening

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My Inside versus Your Outside

What a great reminder I had today. This is something, without thinking about, I know I periodically do! How about you?

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, yet publishers spend a fortune to create great covers. As a person, for years, I did all I could to create a great exterior, and fell far short in effort on the interior.

Today, I still try to take care of myself, dress appropriately, look after my hygiene and so on. I certainly spend far more time than ever did on things inside. By that I mean things spiritual, the source of life I found that lives within me; and I’m sure lives within each of us. When awakened, I found a source of strength within that I had shut out, so work on the inside is top priority.

That being said, I periodically find myself comparing.

There are many people I run into that look like they’ve really got it together. Their in great shape, they handle everything with apparent ease, nothing bothers them, they have the right clothes and “style”, and so it goes. We all meet them, and for me, there are times that I judge the book by its cover and say man, don’t I wish! Human nature.

In the life I’ve had the privilege of leading, and the work I do now, I’ve had the distinct pleasure of meeting a lot of successful people, and famous people, on a fairly global basis. Some really do have their stuff together, and the inside is as good as, or in many cases, better than the outside. It is easy to genuinely admire, and more importantly respect.

There are numerous luminaries I’ve met who were, on the inside, empty vessels. Scared, insecure and neurotic. Nothing to respect, all show and no go. Yet from a distance, I felt that I was less than. I think we all can relate to this. The inside is not what the outside looked to be.

I certainly have had the experience of looking at the outside, and staying away. Then I’ve had the opportunity over time to get to know the person, and they are wonderful compassionate human beings. Yet in comparing my inside to their outside, I could have missed the richness of knowing them.

Only I truly know my inside, and I try to keep it fit on a daily basis.

I am wrong to compare who I am to people I meet. On my journey, my responsibility is to be comfortable in my own skin, and not compare me to “you”.

As I’ve trudged the road to happy destiny, I have become comfortable with who I am on the inside. I have a set of principles I try to practice in all my affairs, and realize to that I have defects of character and will never be a candidate for a medal for perfection.

My insides are OK, and I must learn to not compare to others exterior! Read the book Keith; read the book.

We are heading into a long weekend here in Canada. I will be journaling in my book, but not in this forum for a few days. I know from the comments I get that some people read my ramblings regularly.

This will be a weekend spent out of town with family. My grandson has learned to skate, and wants me to skate with him. That will be interesting! It will be good to just get away May the spirit within each of you grow on a daily basis, and love your inside, don’t compare what is the unique you to anyone’s outside!

Quick thanks to my friend Igor who is redoing my website, www.hopeserenity.ca. It’s great to work with a highly creative young man and I look forward to the new product!!

Tags: Addiction Recovery Coach Life Coaching Life Purpopsewww.hopeserenity.ca

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Ironic-A Thing on Friends/the Iron Lung

I was talking yesterday with a mentee who was fresh off just another “binge”. He had an aha moment. After 10+ years around a 12 step fellowship, he discovered people he was meeting genuinely cared. It was a real revelation.

Then this reading came through today: Since I have been in A.A., I have more friends than I ever had in my life - friends who care about me and my welfare, friends who don't care that I am black and that I have been in prison. All they care about is that I am a human being and that I want to stay sober. Since I've been home, I have been able to gain the respect of my two sons again.

© 2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 534

Along time ago, an old friend shared with me something that has stayed with me a lifetime and I think of and quote often. When thinking of another person I ask: If I were on the iron lung, would I want that person on the pump handle? (younger people-Google iron lung)”.

If the answer is yes, then that is a true friend. I am blessed to have a few in my life!!

On my journey of recovery, I’ve made several real friends, and the meetings I have attended have a disproportionate number of great people. Some real Friends have stuck with me from before journeys start until today. I have a balance, and I’m thankful.

I try to be a good person, am outgoing and a networker. I have hundreds of “positive acquaintances” but only a few true friends.

I must admit, there are people I meet at meetings I really don’t like, and I’m not everybody’s cup of tea. Yet if one person who shares the journey asks for help, it is my responsibility to be there. And I know others re there for me, like or dislike!

I’m careful today about what a friend really is. I, like most, have had real disappointments with people I thought were friends. I’ve never had a lack of support from people on the shared journey.

All must remember, no man is an island, but remember the iron lung too!!

Tags: Addictions Life Coach Recovery Spiritual Awakening Www.hopeserenity.caK

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Humility or Humiliation?

Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 74

When I made a decision to take my life in a new direction, and reached out to get help, I was told I needed to be humble.Humble?

My mind immediately raced and told me that to be humble, I would have to embarrass myself, and I’d had enough of that! I didn’t relate the inability to be humble, or lack there of, with things like being unable to accept a compliment with grace, having to make sure you knew who I know, and so one! I had accomplished much in my life, but could not accept that with humility. If you gave me a compliment, I couldn’t just say thank you.

How often do I focus on my problems and frustrations? When I am having a "good day" these same problems shrink in importance and my preoccupation with them dwindles. Wouldn't it be better if I could find a key to unlock the "magic" of my "good days" for use on the woes of my "bad days"?

I already have the solution! Instead of trying to run away from my pain and wish my problems away, I can pray for humility! Humility will heal the pain. Humility will take me out of myself. Humility that strength granted to me by that “power greater than myself is mine for the asking! Humility will bring balance back into my life. Humility will allow me to accept my humanness joyously.

Today, I can enjoy my successes. Today, if I get a compliment, I can truly say a simple thank you. This massive change in my life is truly a gift, and a gift that is available to all!!

Tags: ADDICTION RECOVERY COACH LIFE'S PURPOSE

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Why??-Do they.

Another great question that came from a friend. If we replace the word alcohol with any of a hundred words, the question and response are every bit as relevant.

Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can't he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?

Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

© 2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 22

So have you pondered this question in your own life?

For me, the solution came in working the steps and making new footprints in life. It was suggested that I work them as I become ready, that I be guided through them by someone who had walked before me, and that I worked them in order. The results I’ve experienced and witnessed tell me the advice was sound!

People, who are basically sane, and usually intelligent, revert into “other” people when active in their addiction.

We pondered the “whys” at a great meeting last week and thoughts like “too smart” and “not at Bottom” came forward. As stated above, the riddle has no answer.

Why doesn’t matter, accepting what is and doing something positive about it does! There is hope for all who really want it! We welcome your questions.

Denial is not a river in Egypt!!

Tags: Www.hopeserenity.calife Coaching Addiction Recovery Transformation Purp

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