FREEDOM FROM ADDICTIONS-MONDAY

Well, we are coming to the end of the first good weather (supposedly) long weekend of the year. For my American friends, we celebrate “Victoria Day” the weekend ahead of Memorial Day, a tie to our British roots.

I feel for those with cottages and those who are campers. If people were looking for traditional outdoor activity, they didn’t get the weather. I got another round of golf in, and today, without rain, just cold and windy.

Last night, I had dinner with dear friends, both doctors. He had it all to an outsider at one time-family, money, homes, cars, public admiration-, but couldn’t stop drinking, and slowly alcohol took everything from him. He now has mild Korsakov Syndrome (wet brain). Alcohol, coupled with a mild stroke took away a large part of his brain function. A real remember when for me is a night with my friend Paul. In his eyes, you see alertness, but he has trouble putting a paragraph together. Yet he loves me, and it brightens my whole day when we can bring him to laughter over things from the past.

His wife is one of the brightest and “outrageous” people, I know, so the time we spend together is full of good humor.

I was my friends sponsor, and seeing how he is today is a good reminder of how powerless I am over people. He could not open himself up to the reality of the demons from his past, was continually tormented, and the pain, and numbing took him to a point where he is; a shell and to some extent locked into his own world. If I had of continued the route I was going, had not listened to others and been willing to change, and awoken spiritually, I could have easily had the same fate as my friend.

Today he is sober and living a program as best as his abilities will allow, and I love him unconditionally.

In going through some things from my past parts of my journey, I was reminded how many I have known with addictions, and many much younger than me, that are now dead. I am so terribly lucky that my mind was able to open enough to realize I had a problem, to accept the help from coaches, a treatment facility, a great spiritual adviser, and many in my fellowship of choice. Most importantly, to find a power greater than myself dwelling within me and all around me who would guide me if I stayed out of my own way, and did good healthy things. To change my daily living routine, my higher power truly worked through others, and was there for me in prayer and as importantly, in meditation.

The miracle of weekends like this?

I can stand my own company, in fact enjoy it, have people around me that care, and have enough insanity left within that I can walk the golf course in less than ideal conditions and be both happy and grateful. I have hope and serenity, and that is progress, certainly not perfection.

When I look back, I know what has happened to me is a miracle, and I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share my miracle with others!

Tags: Spiritual Awakening Addiction Mentor Life Coachwww.hopeserenity.ca

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Insanity-Awakening-Recovery

With a smile on my face, I say, “will restore us to sanity”! It’s Sunday, and for the second day in a row, I headed to the golf course with anticipation. For the second day in a row, it began to rain part way through the golf game. For the second day in a row, I finished the round.

I laugh at myself, because there is still an element of insanity within me. Two days running, wet and cold, and figuring that this time it would be different. A good remember when.

As I sit and smile about my moments, I am reminded of a time in my life where insanity was very present, and a chat over dinner last night with good friend Dave about the comings and goings in this world was another good reminder. It’s great to just sit and talk with another sober “observer” who gives freely. I also have the privilege of working with people who say they are addicted, stay clean/sober for a period of time, then go and use their mood changer of choice and are surprised when out comes are bad (guilt, shame, family anger, remorse, etc.), a piece of insanity on their part I know only too well from my past experiences.

My journey of life recovery has covered many years and has shifted constantly in how I view the world. What has continuously grown is my faith in a power greater than I, and the concept of this power is in constant evolution, and the reality of a higher power, through what I’ve have personally experienced and witnessed, deepens.

While I’ve had a lot of help and coaching over the years, I know today that it was through a power greater than myself that solid sanity returned to my life; even though on days like today I find my actions funny!

When it came to my active addiction, I repeatedly did the same things, and truly thought the outcome would be different when I used and abused, and was shocked when there were consequences. As with most people in recovery, things had to get bad enough (and bad enough is different for each person) that I realized my actions were nuts and self destructive. By this point, I did not have a spiritual life and no conscious belief in anything outside my unconscious, Egoic, self. I was functioning in life at a fairly high level, yet know today that there was insanity in play!

I am an addict and alcoholic who has recovered from my use of mood altering substances and actions, but is very much recovering. My life was transformed through coaching and guidance of powers greater than me. Many of these “powers” were human. I had a spiritual awakening as a result of being led through the 12 steps, and doing them and practicing them daily. Sanity has returned in the important areas of my life and I get to experience hope and serenity on a daily basis.

I know today that I am designed to make a unique and meaningful difference through working with others, and my impact on others is a matter of large consequence.

I am truly grateful than my higher power allows me to make choices, but the mildly insane choices I make today are things like golf in the rain!

Tags: Addiction Mentoring Addiction Recoverylife Transformation Coaching Highe

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Blame and Criticism

Am I bored? Highly critical? Fearful or anxious? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," I may be suffering the effects of procrastination.

If I am plagued by boredom, I may not be seeking or initiating constructive changes in my life. By refusing to ask questions or seek answers to questions I already have, for instance, I perpetuate my sense of failure and emptiness.

If I am highly critical of others, it is very likely I am a "non-doer." People who are busy doing their heart's desires have little time to complain about the actions or attitudes of others.

If I am anxious or fearful about the future, I may be postponing until tomorrow what I could be doing today. Merely hoping or wishing my life will get better, while avoiding or worrying about an unpleasant task or problem, is self-defeating at best.  If I want to live today fully, I must do something constructive with it.

TODAY I will tackle at least two things I dread doing. I will not waste my time and energy by wallowing in boredom, worry, criticism, or fear. I will do what needs to be done even if it requires effort, risk and change.

Original thinking? I think not. But oh so true.

Today is Saturday, and it’s part of a “home alone” weekend. In the past, I would have allowed myself to get “bored”, got critical about “stuff” and then acted out in some way or another, generally not in a mentally healthy way.

I’ve got things to do that will not go on the list of “favourite” things to do, but do them I will.

I will take responsibility for me, and make it a great day!!

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Brightening One Day

It’s always interesting to see what a difference 24 hours can make, even two hours.

I am a life transformation coach, coach based on many of the principles Eckhart Tolle put forth in A New Earth, I have a strong spiritual foundation, have helped many others, have been addiction free for a long period of time; yet I can lose sight of the very things I know, believe, try to practice and coach.

Yesterday, I started a day in a funk. I journaled about it, externalizing it, and began to see the clouds life.

I went through a coaching the coach session, meditation, a session with an associate and trusted advisor, a 12 step meeting and some exercise and social activity. By the time my wife got home from work, I was in the game and the world had a blue sky.

Time is what we measure by, and things can change so quickly.

When things are on a positive roll, we never seem to have enough time. Recently, I’ve had too much time and have spent too much time in my own head. I learned long ago, my mind can be a dangerous neighborhood and I’m better not being in there alone. Yesterday served as a great minder of this.

Time, properly used is a gift. I am responsible for how I use time, and to a very large extent, I am responsible for my big picture frame of mind. No body can make me happy. I can coach others about this and with results, but now and again, I forget this truth in my own life.

Yesterday, practicing what I know to be true and preach did for me what I know it will do for others. Through the events that took place yesterday, both by journaling and discussion with others, coupled with meditation, yesterday was a wonderful and abundant day.

It is obvious that lately I have not filled my time with enough of meaning. I have allowed too much past and future to creep in, and have wasted time dwelling outside the moment and the day. When we do this, things that are not constructive happen. I am thankful that I recognize these things as they happen, and have been coached to not only develop a tool kit to cope, but to reach into the kit and use it.

I’m looking at a long weekend with a lot of available time. I will live the moment and let time be my friend! I have a great chance to give a little away over the weekend, and will!

Tags: Life Transformation Coach Recovery Mentorwww.hopeserenity.ca Recovery

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The Funk

I’m on the run this morning, but truly grateful that it is Thursday. I’m in one of those places where a little black cloud has gathered over my head. I do know the reasons for it (stress is such a wonderful thing) and have my opportunity of the week to deal with it in a real healthy manner!

There are things in life that happen that are just part of life, no matter what journey you’re on. sh*t happens, and it can become very real when you really understand that you can’t control the actions of others. I have gone through a real betrayal of trust by a close family member, something that has had a major financial impact. I still love this person, but her actions have caused a real situation and the situation will impact us going forward. Love is not in question, my love is unconditional, and trust is an issue as it relates to this person. It is gone, and I’m feeling in a bit of a funk!

Thank god its Thursday-my mental health day. And even better, the plan had some extra benefits in for the day, plans made well ahead of knowing I would feel the black cloud today!

I’ve got my favorite little coaching friend this morning. We do have a bond that allows us to push each other to get better, and we are developing a healthy transparency in our relationship. From there, a quick stop to visit my mother, then over to see a health professional and one of my associates in my Life Coaching business. I enjoy this hour of sharing and having truths shown to me! Good positive stuff.

Then off to a 12 step meeting then on to the golf course where I’ll have the privilege of playing with my “sponsor”. For various reasons, including his wintering in Florida, we have not had a lot of time together in a while!

I have some client work to do early this evening, and some web site work to knock of. I am hoping to get some feedback on the Hope & Serenity.ca site that will allow us to make improvements over the weekend.

Like life, its work in progress.

Funny how things work, just getting this stuff out of me in journal form has the little clouds dissipating already. It is a day in transformation, a day with purpose, and in externalizing and sharing with others; it will be a great day!

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A real true friend sent this to me. She is going through a lot with a husband who is unfortunately being taken slowly by cancer. Patti is hanging in, hanging on, and despite all that is happening to her and around her, she is so often there for others.

This small piece of prose is part of her daily battery charge, and I find so much meaning in it as I face my own challenges.

I am unique and irreplaceable

“My personality with all its quirks, foibles, and eccentricities, is a perfect expression of God energy moving into the world.  I cherish my individual expression of divine life.  I acknowledge that I am uniquely designed to bring certain energies into play in an innovative and beneficial way for all.  There is something in my own creative makeup that is necessary to the good of the world.  I am designed specifically to make a unique and meaningful contribution.  There is a beauty and purpose to my precise personality.  I am not an accident, a mistake, or a haphazard collection of influences.  I am a self evolving and important energy which brings to the world a precise and important healing medicine.  My influence and impact on others is a matter of large consequence.  .   Believing in this is not a matter of ego.  It is recognition of the divine plan which embraces us all.  I am pivotal and important part of this plan.  My actions and attitudes have weight and consequence.  As I consciously and creatively come into my full flowering. I bring the best and the brightest of myself as blessings into the world.”

There is a message here that I wish could be infused into every human being, and the reality of this message could shine through all of us.

In coaching others, this message clearly presents what I hope each client finds through our work together. How better to describe “awakening” than full flowering? And I do know that my purpose is because “I am a pivotal and important part of this plan” and to many, I have brought a precise and important healing medicine. That which is me.

When things are not going exactly how I think they should, and I am wondering such thoughts as “what did I do to deserve this?”, something comes along that is exactly the right thing at the right time.

This piece of prose was just that, and I hope those of you who see this find that it touches you, and that you save it for your moments.

To those considering recovery from addiction, read this with thought. The hope in this message is unbelievable and you too can feel this way!

Tags: Life Transformation Coachaddiction Mentoraddiction RecoveryA New Earth C

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I must admit that I missed A New Earth and Eckhart Tolle on web cast last night. I don’t miss Oprah, even though she did a good job. The things that I found in A New Earth, particularly as they apply to addiction recovery, life coaching and transformation, and awakening spiritually are consistent with many of the readings I do.

During the study of A New Earth, it became very clear to me who I am. I am; Keith. This reading explains it well:

”Learn to say I am
We hear a lot about becoming whole. "Become a complete human being." "Start on the pathway to becoming whole." "You won't find romantic love until you know you're complete." Frankly, these kinds of comments often confused me. But then I decided that wholeness relates directly to the process of detaching - letting go.
It's admirable to go after our dreams and know what we want to accomplish. But after we identify what it is we're after, we need to let it go. We need to know in our hearts and souls that we're okay whether we ever get what we're after or not.
Another friend described it this way, "It's the old Zen Buddhist thing," he said. "When you're one with yourself, life becomes magical. You can get whatever you want."
The most powerful and magical words we can say in the language of letting go are these: I am.
Then we step it up one notch by learning to say, I am complete just as I am.
God, help me know the power of the words I am.”

The words are simple, the action required not as simple. Letting go of some problems that occur in life is a challenge at times, yet when resolution of the problem occurs, it is so easy to look back and see how little good worrying did, and how much energy was wasted in the worry.

On a daily basis I work at being at one with myself. Years ago I learned that even with my flaws, I am a product of god who is not perfect but is what god created, I am unique in a positive way, and my purpose in life is to make a positive difference by coaching others.

As I move in to a busy day in front of me, I will turn worrisome issues to the care of my higher power, focus on the moment, remember the success of meditating yesterday and repeat it today.

Most importantly, may I be present in the reality; I Am.

Tags: Spiritual Awakeningaddiction Recovery Coachlife Transformation Coachwww

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A weekend just over and a time to reflect! Interesting things happened, and I’m always amazed at how they are dealt with.

Mother’s day is a good bench mark for me on progress. I, like many men, did not have a good relationship with my mother, and for along time, I resented her and blamed her for many things. Over the past decade, I’ve done a lot of work in that area, and much progress has been made. Over the last number of month’s I’ve worked with a “Life Coach” down in Kentucky who specializes in guilt, the last feeling I had as the mother relationship evolved (resentments went years ago).

Something has worked. I’ve gone through a number of months, and now a Mother’s Day actually feeling compassion towards my mother! This was probably the best I felt in my adult life going through a Mother’s Day. I was there with her, and both of us enjoyed. This is progress.

Our adult children, each in their own way, made Mother’s day special for Diane, and I know she enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, I’ve had one of my adult children do a very selfish thing which has negatively impacted our personal financial situation. I see in her so many things that I recognize as behavior I might have done years ago, and to put it simply, I se her failing to take responsibility for her own actions, accept what is, and deal with it in a practical way.

It’s a pity. As she has run around seeking sympathy from her siblings, she is slowly starting to split a family apart. As hard as I try to react in a “perfect” way, I am reminded of my own shortcomings when cruel reality lands in my own back yard.

Another good reminder, this whole thing started with daughter creating secrets among family members. In active addiction and in lives that are in a down cycle, secrets are such a huge part of the problem, and they hurt all that are entwined in them.

Years ago, and as part of this journey called life, I set a personal objective to be a more transparent human being and not accumulate and carry a lot of baggage. I work very hard at being consistent and the same person to me and to all others. I try not to attempt fooling myself, and when I make mistakes, I try to admit them promptly and move on.

Funny, as I sit here this morning, there is a lot going on, and a lot happened over the weekend. Today I will spend some much needed time in meditation. I am sure that the things going on in my head will settle, and I will emerge with a much clearer vision of what must be done now, and serenity battery charged.

At this stage of my life, my relationship with my immediate family is the most important thing to me outside of my relationship with my higher power, and I feel real pain when I see our family unit negatively impacted by behavior I understand so well. Even worse, when I see those I love in denial and not accepting what is happening. This does cause pain. I pray for more wisdom in this area of life.

It’s funny, my life’s work and hard study have prepared me for Life Coaching. To formalize the practice of coaching, to try and get others to understand what it is a coach does and to build a client base has been a much slower process than I envisioned. I certainly have done soul searching about the decision I’ve made, and feel as strongly as ever that I am doing what is my life’s purpose at this point in my life.

Things are work in progress.

I will differentiate my coaching programs between a program focused on addiction recovery, a program focused on transformation to a stronger sense of spirituality and purpose, and a program geared to people who just want to harness their internal talents and achieve very practical goals. There is a common element to success in all three of these areas.

The greatest thing for me is that my journey has brought me in to conscious contact with a higher power, and I know if I stay in touch with this source and stay out of my own way, things will work out as they should.

As I begin a new week and finally have some real quiet time, I accept what has gone on over the past 72 hours, and am committed to doing in the now the things that need to be done. I will act responsibly, stay out of my own way, accept what is, give to others, and move in the direction that is meant to be!

Clarity in thought will come as it is intended! I’ve got to be prepared to see it!

Tags: Spiritual Awakeningaddiction Coachrecoverytransformationwww.hopeserenit

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There has been something going on in my head for a few days that is taking away from serenity. I am fairly sure, after meditation, that I know what it is.

On my journey, and not far into it, I had to clear up my “wreckage from the past” to move forward. I took a very in depth examination of what had happened, and funny enough, found a day when I was between three and four years old, that changed my life forever.

From that day forward, nothing was ever the same and I began a series of behaviors that were not healthy and hurt myself and others. There was a huge benefit in the sharing of the past with my higher power and another person. I did not live the past, but accepted what happened and understood who I had become and why.

STEP FIVE: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

"This practice of admitting one’s defects to another person is, of course, very ancient. It has been validated in every century, and it characterizes the lives of all spiritually centered and truly religious people. But today religion is by no means the sole advocate of this saving principle. Psychiatrists and psychologists point out the deep need every human being has for practical insight and knowledge of his own personality flaws and for a discussion of them with an understanding and trustworthy person. So far as alcoholics are concerned, AA. would go even further. Most of us would declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being we could not stay sober. It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this."

I am a great believer that the truths contained in the 12 steps are a great model for good mental hygiene for every human being, and are a fabulous spiritual platform for life for all. I incorporate them as a foundation in the transformational life coaching practise I operate, and must remember to practice them myself

For me to enjoy a large measure of serenity on a daily basis, I must share issues with someone I trust and who can help me find the answers that are within. As we all know, sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees. I also know my higher power has placed people in my life who help!

As I meditated this morning, the issue became clear. There is an answer, but I am not seeing it for whatever reason. I am fortunate to have people in my life who I do trust and who have expertise.

While the issue on the surface is not a “defect” of character, it relates back to one that I have, and that is pride. There are times I am reluctant to ask for help and share honestly on certain topics, finance being one of them.

I thank my higher power for making the path clear as to what to do, and today I will make arrangements to talk things out with one of my trusted confidants! I cannot afford to accumulate wreckage on the journey. The work in clearing up the past was not easy, and to be in a good state of mind, I must continue good mental and spiritual practices!

Tags: Life Transformation Coacha New Earth Coachaddiction Recoverywww.hopesere

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