Believe in your own success

There is a definite key to creating a life that meets your true expectations. I certainly had to learn it the hard way.

As the week has progressed, I’ve listened to people tell me how they sabotage their own success. Why do we do it? Does the fear of success outweigh the true desire for success? To get what we dream of, we have to believe not only that we can do it, but that we deserve it! It is a hard lesson to learn.

"There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life." -- Frederico Fellini

In what situations have you experienced your life to the fullest? Do you live your passion as fully as you can? How do you limit your experience of passion?

Passion emerges when your essence expresses itself. How do you stop yourself from fully expressing who you are?

"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." -- Henri Frederic Amiel

"We could hardly wait to get up in the morning." -- Wilbur Wright

The truth of these statements awaits you IF you really want to experience your life to the fullest. Only you hold you back. Go to www.creativeliferecovery.com and take that first action step. Begin to believe in your own success!

Tags: Success Co-creative Process Life Recovery Life Coach Addiction Coachww

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BEATING YOURSELF UP!

Its fun to coach individuals every day, it is like being in school. Listen and learn and of course observe. My clients are working on a very divergent set of individual goals, range in age from 24 to 62, male/female and live on four different countries.

Things seldom get boring and situations vary widely. There are a few things that people genuinely trying to be the best they can be have in common.

One is that they tend to beat themselves up. A solution:

“Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns.”

Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for. S**t does happen.

Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was - or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there's something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don't go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I'm talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us.

These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don't turn on yourself. Don't try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand.

The road isn't always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns. We’re on a journey without ultimate destination; it really is a process that requires acceptance and patience.

Knowing the UNIVERSAL TRUTH will help me relax and trust my self enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be. You can get a start by going to www.creativeliferecovery.com and asking for insight!

Tags: Life Coach Co-creative Processspiritual Awakeningwww.creativerecovery.co

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Ever Take (personal) Inventory?

When I decided to start a journey to recovering a life I wanted, I honestly had no idea of who I was (has become) inside. I stuffed feelings, and my true self was hidden as best I could hide it from the world. Can you relate to being in this position?

To move forward and create something that was great, I had to take a personal inventory of myself. The thought was a little frightening, I required some guidance and the work was difficult because I was thorough and dug into my past deeply. It was, after all, for me.

Since the work was done, I try to take my own personal inventory daily.

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.

                                                                                                                Twelve and Twelve, page 88

I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday's baggage too. I must balance today's books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behaviour. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.

In the Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery, we coach using a tried and true guideline for doing personal inventory. It is hard to build anything in life without really knowing the material you have to work with and have an appreciation of what the strengths are! This is applicable to achieving ANY goals you have for your life.

 I try to practise what I preach, and love to work with others as a part of their achieving success. If you would like to learn more about moving toward a life and goals you really want, please look at www.creativeliferecovery.com. Inventory is free!!

How do you feel about taking (personal) inventory?

Tags: Co-creative Process.www.hopeserenity.ca Inventotyspirituallife Coachadd

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DO YOU KNOW GRACE?

I have known ladies in my life named Grace, and many of us chill when we hear the old hymn “Amazing Grace”, but these are not the graces I’m thinking about.

What really got me thinking about grace was a poem/prose called “Footprints” that I heard what I needed to. For those who are not familiar, go to http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php, and see if it rings a bell for you.

For so many years I felt I walked alone. So many people around me, but inside that feeling of loneliness was there. It was unshakeable. While many things in my life were going well, at least to the eyes of others, the feelings inside of me did not match the outside. The “God” I’d learned about in church and through others certainly was not consciously there for me. I was feeling abandoned.

I hit a low point in my life. As low as I was meant to go. I was not happy and suffered from extended periods of depression. My world literally was shrinking, both in terms of relationships with others and in particular, the relationship I had with myself. More and more the feeling of being alone was growing. I was becoming irritable, restless and discontent on a more frequent basis. I was losing “things” and had lost myself. Where was this God thing?

On the outside, I was functioning. From a work standpoint, things were OK. From a material standpoint, things were fine. That being said, I wanted more in my life, I wanted a Big Life that was much happier. Deep inside I sensed there was a bigger life that was there for me.

And then GRACE came to me! Grace is truly a gift available to all if we can accept it!

Through Grace, I started a journey to recover a life that I wanted. The journey, as I know today, is a process that is ongoing, it will never end. I wanted to create a better life, and I could not do it alone. It had to be co-created, created by more than me. Grace helped create the trip.

The process truly is co-creative.

First, through understanding Footprints, I gained a new insight into what had really happened. I had chosen to walk alone, and in reality that I was alive and well, had not lost everything, and had a glimmer of hope helped me realize I had been “carried”. This was the start of a miracle.

I worked hard to learn about this power “greater than me” that had done the lifting. Today I understand it as a “Universal Truth” that is within each of us, and has been with all living things since day one. Grace helped me realize this. Grace is given freely.

Grace also led me to you, to a rehab centre, to coaches for certain things, to mentors and fellowships for others, and to a “safe” place to allow initial healing. Grace allowed a journey, and the foundation to date of the journey is that is never taken alone, and Grace keeps giving me the strength to reach out and get help when I need it. Grace also gives me the ability to recognize help when it comes; often not help that I consciously was aware that I was seeking. Truly amazing Grace; Grace gives me inner vision.

Today I am truly blessed. When I allow Grace to work in my life, I’m not lonely. The Universal Truth is always there when I reach inside, search it out, and accept its truth. I am recovering a life I want, it is being created as a process, never alone, but always co-creatively. Doing it alone did not work for me! I am truly thankful that I was carried, and now with two sets of footprints once again in the sand, I can get and accept the help I need to reach dreams. I know I reach these dreams through goal setting, being held accountable and ACTION! Grace allowed me to learn that! Grace taught me there had to be a healthy “I” before I could become a real part of a "we".

I can honestly say I know Grace, and appreciate the impact Grace has had on my life. I am glad to understand what really happened when two sets of footprints became one, and love the thought that there are once again at least two sets of footprints on the beach that is my life, and I am now experiencing more of the “Big Life” I knew was meant for me. A life those years ago I never thought I would live.

A simple question. Do you know Grace?

If this blog makes sense to you, possibly a visit to www.hopeserenity.ca and a search through it, taking an active role, and deciding to co-create may help. Get to appreciate Grace. You have it, now learn to accept the gift and live with it as an anchor in your life!

Tags: Life Coachco-creative Processlife Recoverygracewww.hopeserenity.ca

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Acceptance

When we have connected our lives back to our Higher Power (the Universal Truth), we gradually learn to accept what happens to us as part of the plan. Most of us made a mess of trying to run our own lives. We are amazed at how much better things go when we acknowledge that the Power greater than ourselves is in control.

Every experience, the bad one as well as the good one, becomes an opportunity to learn and to serve. We may not like what it is that we are given to do or to feel on a particular day, but we learn to accept it as necessary for our growth. We can look back and see that we have learned even more from our failures than from our successes.

When we accept our lives and ourselves as part of the Universal Truth, we are open to the work of a Higher Power’s spirit and love. Then positive change and growth become possible. We are ready to co-create, with our Universal Truth and others, a process that will lead us to recovery a life we want.

Teach me to accept Your will. Co-create with me the journey of recovery.

Tags: Co-creative Processholisticlife Recoverylife Coachaddiction Coachwww.h

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UNIVERSAL TRUTH

Key to a Co-Creative recovery Process

Ever been in a situation where you heard something for likely the thousandth time, but all of a sudden it resonates within you? Not a burning bush moment, but an ahaa? I had just that happen last night.

When I began the journey to recover a happier, joyous and more abundant life (a Big Life as opposed to the life I lived that was getting small), I was devoid of all things spiritual. Devoid at least on a conscious basis. God was something I’d learned about from others and from institutions. Even to this day, god as a word with traditional concepts does not sit well with me. Long ago I accepted the notion of a power greater than me, and god being an acronym for good orderly direction. To date, that has worked, but with some discomfort.

At a gathering last night, a respected friend talked about “Universal Truth”. I am sure I have heard and read this term many times. As I said, last night, for some reason, it resonated deep with in me. It is what I have searched for and felt as an integral part of my life recovery experience.

I’m not anti-church, anti-religion or anti anything that works for an individual. I have always believed there is only one higher power and over time, humans have put this concept into a dogma that made sense for them. Unfortunately, I strongly believe that this has caused many to have a need to be right, which of course makes others wrong. This need to be right has taken more lives than any other factor in human history! It has given me great concern about formal religions. But all religions have an underlying “Universal Truth”.

As I heard the words “Universal Truth” and the things said about it, a light came on for me.

We started with truth within us, and it has always remained with us and all around us. There is a truth that is universal. With me, over time, this universal truth got lost. In the process of life recovery, it has been awoken with in me and I appreciate it and can see it all about me. In working with others who are willing to open their minds, I see it awaken within them as a key pillar in them achieving what is important to them. The “Universal Truth” is something within all of us. Awakening to it in a pure sense is a key to achievement!

I journal, and have journaled, for a long time as part of my journey. I find it healing to get thoughts and feelings from the inside to the outside. It is a part of my practice of good mental hygiene.

Some will read this and say where has he been all these years?  I have related to “Universal Truth” and used the concept forever. For those like me that struggled with the god thing and religion, maybe this will make sense! As I go forward from today, I will take comfort in knowing my “Co-Creative Process for Life Recovery” as I practice it seeks the “Universal Truth”, and this spirit of truth may be the CO in Co-Creative.

Thank- you Linda for saying the right things at the right time for this traveler. I look forward to seeking the “Universal Truth” in my journey, and coaching others to helping find it in theirs! Could it be the “Universal Truth” within is what many call their soul?

This journal, and other related  blogs can be found at www.hopeserenity.ca. Please be a part of this site!

Tags: Co-Creative ProcessLife Recovery Life Coach Spiritualitywww.hopeserenit

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HAPPY THANKKSGIVING USA!

SOMETHING FOR NOTHING?

My friend and partner, Patrick Meninga, has just done a great post on his addiction recovery web site-www.spiritualriver.com. It focuses on the well known book and movie, “The Secret”. It is really worth a read!

I believe that recovery is recovery. Whether you want to live without an addiction, or want to achieve goals in career, life balance, money, relationships, personal well being, etc.; the journey is very similar. I have also learned the hard way, you get what you pay for and there is very little in this life that is free (depending on how you see free).

In going in to Life Coaching as a life’s purpose, I faced a very real dilemma. I have done, throughout my life, a great deal of volunteer coaching and mentoring. When I knew the person I was helping well and there was depth in the relationship, results were good. But one way or another there was a price that had to be paid. There was no softer, easier way.

I have had others help me for free. Funny, I personally have got much better results for myself when I paid something for the help. No gain without pain. The professional “coaches” I have hired were hired because they had a track record of results. Their services had value, and they had to make a living! The hired gun has a mission! Motive is clear.

Personally, the investments I made in my own journey were the best investments I ever made.

I have always wanted to “coach” others as my life focus, and I was very concerned about doing it for money as opposed to straight “service”. It was a dilemma that has been resolved in my head. I do “service” work and I do coaching. Coaching is where I make my living; service is far different and is an area that allows me to pay back!

Let me share a bit from Patrick. While it is addiction focused, I honestly believe it applies to people who truly want “more” from their life:

“Addicts and alcoholics have a tendency towards the “something-for-nothing” mindset (KHB-don’t we all?)

Part of the marketing genius behind The Secret is that it promises something for nothing. Just visualize what you want, believe in your vision, and then “align yourself to receive it,” and success will fall right into your lap.

This is dangerous territory for recovering addicts and alcoholics. Through active drug addiction, we were all about instant gratification and the whole idea of getting something for nothing. Self-medicating was the ultimate shortcut for us. By using chemicals to change how we felt, we were cheating the system and taking a shortcut to what we thought was real happiness. A popular phrase for addicts in recovery is “I want what I want when I want it.” We say this, realizing that we need to get over this incessant need for instant gratification, and that lasting happiness does not happen overnight.

Because of this tendency, addicts in recovery are probably more vulnerable to a scheme that promises something for nothing. I know that when I was still drinking, I always looked for the easy way out, and didn’t necessarily like the idea of having to work really hard for something. Because of my addiction, I was naturally averse to hard work.

Recovery, of course, demands hard work. There is no shortcut to long term sobriety. The something-for-nothing mindset is therefore misleading and dangerous. It is a false promise to the hopeful addict or alcoholic.”

Getting the Dreams you have through goal setting, action and accountability is hard work! It won’t just happen. Ate you worth it to you? Please visit us at www.hopeserenity.ca.

Tags: Co-Creative ProcessLife RecoveryLife Coachsuccessfreewww.hopeserenity

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Appreciating Change

It has been a really interesting couple of days, busy and feeling useful.

I’ve had some new clients, and that is always a positive. It seems like our “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery” (still too long a name) is resonating with some people. For the most part, they are not people with active addictions. It feels good to work at developing something in concept, and seeing others respond positively. In is funny, when I ask for help and input from “the addicted” community, very little response comes! Wonder why?

From a service to others perspective, I was honored to be asked to sponsor a mature man who is new to recovery! We have had a couple of discussions and one lengthy and fruitful face to face. He truly, through the outside help he went and got, is in a position to do Step/Footprint 4. A nice thing, he is starting the journey just for himself, there is no gun to his head.  It is nice to have another soul in my own network. Service gives me more than I can ever give!

I spoke at a 12 step meeting this week. My background allows me fairly comfortable speaking to groups, and I learned long ago is that only I know my story. I do not prepare in advance and try to speak 100% from the heart. I’m always interested to see where the spirit leads, and was thrilled last night that my talk was short and focused; even more pleasant, focus on recovery and not “war” stories! It is nice to know that as some said recently, you are stumbling forward!

Had a couple of truly great client meetings this week. The role of a coach is very different than the role of a sponsor or speaker. It is a role of “being”, listening deeply and questioning. All with a focus on bringing out the clients internal strengths, and letting them discover.

When you see clients setting goals and doing the work that allow their dreams to become reality, it is a truly satisfying experience. In this role, you are not advisor, but rather a guide on a journey. The client picks the destination, your just there to ask where are we going and what have you got that will get us there. Sometimes the feeling is like “drafting” that you see car racers do! I can’t express how good it feels to be able to work with others and see them truly find and use the talents that they do have!

The interesting thing, each of these roles and divergent experiences really helps me in my journey!

Over the past week, I’ve had occasion to hook up with people from my distant past. Old neighbors and school mates. It is enlightening to see the people we have become, and wondrous to hear from others the changes they see in you! I know I’ve changed dramatically, but I live in me and don’t see the changes as readily as others!

I am grateful to all and everything that has shaped this time! It truly is a life (work) in progress.

Tags: Co-Creative Process LifeCoachwww.hopeserenity.ca Success

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'Tis the Season

I think we all missed MRS yesterday. This is my Monday journal entry! Welome back up!

This weekend brought home several points.

Our home is now decorated for Christmas; tree bright lights and other lovely things. This weekend is Thanksgiving for our US friends, and the TV is already loaded with Ads for Christmas. Buy,buy,buy! On 60 minutes last night, Andy Rooney gave an insightful point of view about Thanksgiving vs. Christmas. We have booked one Christmas lunch and have a couple of gatherings to attend, including a dinner for my 12 step group.

On the flip side, the world, not to mention our local, economies are in a shamble and everyone, not matter how insolated they claim to be, is exposed to economic doom and gloom. No one can feel optimistic about the economic times greed has created and be in tune with reality.

I remember those times years ago before the start of my journey.

As I looked at our Christmas tree as it was finished. There were no gifts under it. I remember the pressure of years ago. I had to please others and make up for the things I felt I'd let the family down on over the year. The pressure to load that tree with material things was immense! Like a hang over, I'd spend at time after Christmas, as bills came in, saying why did I do that?

And those emotions! There was a pressure to look good and feel good over "the season". And I tried hard because that's what others expected. Little did people know that the pressure of the season caused much stress and depression within me! Man, I tried to do what the ads told me to and meet what I thought the expectations of others were.

WAS the season to hit an emotional low, and I was not alone! I know from listening to many others, and continuing to listen as the years go by, we are entering a stressful season for many.

As my journey in search of a happy, joyous and abundant life continues, I become very aware of the season, what my experiences were, and what it is all about today! I truly love the feelings attached to the holiday season because of what I now feel inside, and material "stuff" does not have the same meaning. The joy is inside, and we can now share warm feelings and gratitude with each other. Most of the huge family tension my active addiction behavior had caused is gone, and it is a pleasure to watch Christmas unfold!

There are a few things that we do need in our life materially. The commercialization of the season does give am opportunity for a few great buys on items we truly need. And I do love some personal shopping for those I love to find just the right card and reasonable gift for them. I try to put a little love into the season, and really feel good about it. With rational behavior and balance in life, the season coupled with economic uncertainties provides small windows of opportunity.

What a change from years gone by!

So 'Tis the Season' to remember back, think of what others facing life challenges are going through, and just being present for others as best I can.

From a personal point of view, I will embrace the joy of the season. I am only able to do this through the miracle of the journey I am one and because so many others helped me along the way. Equally, I became able to see I needed help and to accept it!

Tags: Co-Creative Process Of Life Recovery Coach Www.hopeserenity.ca Success

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