I have found that through breaking through the hardened shell of co-dependency that Change and Perserverance work very well together, and become really good friends who in the end will create a strong bond and compliment each other when we apply them to our every day lives and circumstances. Also, through counseling and practicing the steps not just reading them, but practicing them my old self is dying off every day, and the new self is coming alive. I was always defined and identified as someone else. Someone I was when I was married, and someone I was when I had children, and I got lost, and then I rebelled because I knew all those people were not who I really was and who I wanted to truly be until: I HIT ROCK BOTTOM HARD. I always thought in order to be sucessful in life, and to be happy and alive that I had to be married to do it. Now, I am finding out that I do not. I can actually be content and happy with me for the first time in my life. I am no longer afraid of myself, I was for so long I kept running from my own self and I literally almost suceeded in destroying myself. and others who loved and cared for me. Co-dependency I like to call it as I see it, NOW, IT IS THE SILENT KILLER. We as co-dependents learn from a very early age how to keep secrets. And secrets kept inside and not shared, and then dealt with so the healing process can begin is the fuel to the fire of co-dependency that can ignite into a massive wild-fire set out to kill harm and destroy everything that gets in the way of its path. I also chose to fight for my right of the other life. Thats what I call it too. When we are lost in Domestic Violence, or other destructive ways of life through other addictions that is just what it is, it is another life. Then we do what we need to do to survive, but we are truly only existing so that we can get to the other side and find the life we always dreamnt of, and that we can have through finding the strength and power within our selves to do it. Life is not easy by any means, it is very real, and it hurts deeply many times, but once you have learned the way to use new tools, and new patterns that will allow you to act and talk positive instead of the negative, that will be the actual day of your true freedom your true peace, your true happiness. I now choose to be all that I can be and be it freely and free from my old self destructive ways. So for all of you out there struggling, here is the floatation device, I am throwing it out to you in your direction, you will decide to either grab a hold of it, and move forward, and stay afloat, or to go under, I hope you choose to grab a hold. Good luck to you all, we are all in this together, and we will claim the victory. Brokenwing.
