Hi I'm new here and trying to find answers to so many things. My partner has been in rehab for 2 months, after completing step one and sharing his life story, he was advised by the group leader that it wasnt a good idea to be in a relationship. He's really stressed by this we both are. I dont want to get in the way of his recovery and I dont want to leave him. What should I do?? Is this usual advice to people in recovery. Please try and help me on this.
Love to all x

The theory is: Some one new to recovery needs to focus on their recovery.

The suggestion is "No major changes in the first year"; which is hard to follow because of the nature of recovery- ( all about change)

" No new intimate relationships" would be closer to the truth.

('Pink clouds' sometimes make this hard.)

If you are clean& sober, it will be easier for him to work his program.

If he gets a sponsor, goes to meetings and works his program-

why would there be a need to split up?' One day at a time' means just that.

If you can find a way to go to meetings- Alanon, Acoa, Coda- so much the

better! Blessings, Nia

Thanks Nia

Ours is a new relationship just 5 months, he's 6 months clean after 25 years of using. I am clean and sober. I'm just shocked that he'd be told to end the relationship when I would never do anything to get in the way of his recovery, I thought I was doing good for him. Am starting to understand alot now about the 12 Steps and the issues around codependancy. Still hurts though, I'm trying not to take it too personally but it's hard.

I will seek support from the groups you mentioned.

Thanks again x  

  

   Nia's right on. The admonition is nothing but a suggestion  about making independent major new changes in your life. By that premise, one should continue any beneficial or supportive relationship already in place. You guys are OK. That would be like telling me to get a divorce.
    The meeting idea for you is also a good thing - if for nothing else than to know what to expect.

Take care,
Dennis

Wow what a decision!!!
A couple of things came up for me when I read what you wrote.
I agree with the other responses I read.  If you both are both fully in recovery and commited 100% to give to the other but keep your self #1, as in Tradition 1 states then keep on keeping on. 
If your significant other is telling you the truth about the suggestion made to him in rehab. The suggestion may have been given based on some information you have not been given yet.  I knew a person who used this excuse that they were told by their councillor not to be in a relationship when the councillor never said that at all -the person didn't want to be in relationship so used it as a get out of jail free card.  Low yes- made amends yet- unknown at this time.
To thine own self be true- If it is an excuse let him/her go they are not worthy of you !!
Good Luck