Old habits die hard. Once I got in my car last night, the beatings began. I beat myself up so that I cried the whole way home from work. It is amazing how little flashbacks from my childhood can come back to haunt me, reminding me of who and what I am. By the time I got home, I was no good. My husband (bless his heart) brought my dinner to me and tried his best to comfort me. For the first time in a long time, I actually thought about drinking! After I ate, I just curled up in a ball and c...
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I wonder if being "out there" wouldn't be easier. At least when I get played, it didn't
hurt so much.. This feeling sh*t is crap!! It is so hard to not wallow in them and hard to not change them through outside influences... My addict is having a hayday with this situation...telling me i'm no good, nobody will ever want me, how stupid i was for falling for it!!! Of course its answer is to use! Which for me, who is actually in control here, knows that is a stup...
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