Tag: humor

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Last Request The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.

Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette a... Read More

Speeding A man in his late 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I do... Read More

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were
always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.

If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably
involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the
mother sent the 8 year old first,... Read More

50 Reasons to Smile  1. Falling in love.
2. Praying
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Exercising
8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Barbecue Time
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half
price.
12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla) (or
strawberry)
13. A long distance phone call.
14. Morning coffee
15... Read More

  Two Rabbis and a priest go fishing. When the three are out on the water, one Rabbi says, "Oops, I left the cooler in the trunk, I'd better go get it or we won't be able to eat or drink." The rabbi proceeds to jump out of the boat and hop across the water. A few minutes later, he comes hopping back across the lake with the cooler. The priest sees this and shakes his head in disbelief. He thinks to himself "Theres only one person I know who can do that and I doubt he's a Rabbi." A couple o... Read More

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