Tag: disappointed

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How do you stop caring about the mistakes Loved Ones make?  How do you continue on your proper path when you see them veer into nowhere?  How do you stop falling with them?  I have been pulling us up for so long I don't know that I have the strength to pull even just myself back up from the side of the cliff.  How do I let them fall?  How do I face myself after I do? ... Read More

i haven't logged in a while bc i have been doing horribly.i have gotten almost no sleep this whole weekend, literally. on thursday i woke up at like 2pm and did not go to bed until about 6am saturday. then i was up shortly after and am still awake. i had a funeral on friday and i ate ok at the lunch thing after. i didn't purge. then i got home and i have been in a massive b/p cycle since. also thursday my boyfriend's cousin came over and he brought me adderall... i don't know wha... Read More

I really need to figure out a way to change things in my life.I really thought this time I had it all together.But I don't I don't know where to start. I have so many things that I have to do right now to make me a better me. But it's just so hard to know if I can actually do them 1.get my GED2. get my license finally- i.e. take drivers ed and the in cars and the test3. go to college next fall4. move out/ be more independent5. deal with everything else going on. ... Read More

My husband, Mr. Ruby, had issues that were huge. He unfortunatley hit the "ends" in his struggle with Pornography and all of the nastiness attatched to this. It is a sad story and pretty fresh which may explain my sudden use of the word suicidal in my vocab. Mr. Ruby had been viewing porn since day one, to which I didn't give much thought since he showed me what was some pretty typical stuff that guys look at. He claimed it was for his friends ,which I knew was a story. But coming... Read More

I've been awake since 3 am, which is nothing new as I am a chronic insomniac. It is just that sometimes when I lie awake in the darkness and can hear my husband breathing quitely in a deep slumber ....I feel disappointed. disappointed that even in sleep I can get no peace. My life has always been full of some unseen, yet overbearing torment. It is what I call a "living dead"  feeling that has always enveloped me like some sort of  cocoon... Read More

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