Today must be the hardest day in my soberiety as most of you will know from my last entry i was in a relationship all be it short it was  a good one and how it came to an end  well its mostly a mystery to me the only hard facts i have that 
" I love you but i am not in love with you "
Thats what i was told .
And today whilst traveling home she came on the bus i was on i really didn't know what to do, i felt so alone even though i have god in my life my wee heart was&n... Read More

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to my mate/to my soul

Was it just yesterday... or perhaps the day before? Seems like all has gotten back to our state of homeostatic chaos, our normalcy.  She is angry with me.  I don't feel that i belong.  I have always wanted there to be a close connection between you and her, your daughter, especially since i lost my father at such a young age.  So then, why should i be jealous of the intimacy you two share.  But she comes to you, and not to me, her step-mom... Read More

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what do i really want...?  where would i like to see myself in a year, or three or ten?  hmmm, the answer to that question seems to change almost daily.  thank heavens i only have to live my life one day at a time and i don't actually have to worry too much about a year or three or ten from now.

my dilemma is actually about relationships.  the romantic kind.  sometimes i am so darn lonely, all i can th... Read More

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