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I did get out of this house for a bit today, but I didn't take any pictures...It was raining...Now it's storming...Storms pretty much scare me and tend to intensify my PTSD symptoms...and all of my reactions are because of the abuse that I went through...I often wonder how my abusers can live with themselves...Do they ever think about what they did??? Are they suffering the way they made me suffer??? Has it ever entered their minds since it happened??? wow...When I a child, I loved to read outsi... Read More
I finally laid down around 9 this morning and was back up at 11:30...I have major trouble with sleeping...It makes me feel too vulnerable and I know that if I'm awake, I won't have the nightmares that consume me when I sleep...I won't wake up in a state of fear and panic...But on the other hand, when I stay up all night, everything seems magnified...Little noises that I hear in the daylight are so triggering for me in the hours of darkness...I am extremely hypervigilant and practically jump... Read More
03/31/2008 03:22:26 Wow...it's after 4 A.M. here and it looks like yet another sleepless night for me...It's awful...I have such a hard time sleeping, actually I am afraid to sleep...I'm afraid of the nightmares and what they do to me...They are so vivid, so real and it's my abuse over and over again...I can even smell, hear, feel it just as I did when it happened...My past keeps flashing through my head like a movie on fast forward and I have to make myself go numb, to dissociate from my... Read More
Heyoka From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search.. start content --> ..>..>..> ..TR> This article does not cite any references or sources. (October 2007) Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed...>..> Heyoka by Laughing Deer A Lakota way of being, a medicine way. A Heyoka is one who does things backwards or opposite. The idea that Heyoka is a clown... Read More
More Heyoka Current mood: Spirit Walking Category: Spirit Walking Religion and Philosophy by Steve Mizrach Thunderbird and Trickster Introduction The Thunderbird is one of the few cross-cultural elements of Native North American mythology. He is found not just among Plains Indians, but also among Pacific Northwest and Northeastern tribes. He has also become quite a bit of an icon for non-Indians, since he has also had the honor of having automobiles, liquors, and even a United States... Read More
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