Subject: CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
Content: CAN YOU TURN IT OVER? A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life. As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing. For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based. What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening. At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control. The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself. To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better. In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened. I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds. From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help. If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? ( firstname.lastname@example.org ’ www.hopeserenity.ca )
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