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im 42 years old,been sober for 5 daysim from oxford england,formerly from london.my story started way back,i first memories where of shouts and screams of my mother,being beaten by my father.soon after it became my turn,he would come home drag me out of bed,make me sit in the chair,then he would make me watch him beat my mother,saying things like this is the way to treat them,and when i said anything he punched me so hard in the head i would fall off the chair.the abuse became mental also.thankfully my two brothers and sister where left alone.he made me watch as he threw my mother through a window,she had over 160 stitches,and nearly died from loss of blood.my mother finally got away from him when i was ten,when he went to prison for attempting to kill my brother,by dropping him from over the balcony,of our up stairs lobby,lucky the policeman caught him.i was now ten years old.we all moved house,living in dagenham essex.i was by then a quiet child,not being able to sleep,this affected my school work.my mother met another man,i guess this scared me,so we never got on.one saturday morning,when i was 14,my mother had my bags packed,she took me to the train station,and shipped me back to my father.no discussions nothing.i was distraught,i just could not believe she could do that.when i arrived he didnt want to know,he was in a relationship with a younger woman,who didnot want a teenager around.i had my first drink then,red wine and cider,i was sick as a pig.i was living with my grandmother,my father came to live ther when his partner left him,due to the violence.it started all over again,mainly mental abuse.calling me names,always belittling me in front of people.he would get me drunk,and think it was so funny.by the age of 17 i was drinking heavily.i got into trouble with the police,i went to prison.my drinking got steadily worse,but i denied i had a problem.even after blackouts,i ended up in hospital 3 times in 4 days,having my stomach pumped,soon as i got out of the hospital i went and had a drink,still i never had a problem.this decline went on until the beginning of august 2007,when i could not take any more,i took loads of painkillers,but all i did was sleep and be sick all night.in the morning i went straight to the pub.the next 2 weeks i was drunk every day,then on the 25 august, i bought a bottle of jack daniels,i drank it all,along with 150 pills.i thought that would be the end of the suffering,but i woke up in hospital,i was told the alcohol should have killed me let alone the pills.i was sectioned in a mental health unit for my own safety.this lead to rehab,but i met my now girlfriend there,we where both discharged.but i had started to attend AA meetings,and ive decided thats the way for me.i want to start step one again,finish what i started in rehab,i need to find myself a sponser, and carry on with my recovery.
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