christmas was not at all what i expected. with as much of my family that showed up it went ok.

the only thing is that 1 of my sisters didn't come. my parents and her are fighting. she still in active addiction and they don't want anything to do with her.kinda the same road alot of us kids went down with my parents. it was hard to sit around and listen to them talk about her like she was crap, and then turn around and say i love her. i'm not saying my sisters at all innocent . she does the same about them when they're not around.

i guess its just hard to sit on this side of that issue and see how destructive it is. when i was in active addiction i really didn't care. iwas either high or looking for a way to run away from or push away my family so i could use without listening to it.

i do wish my sister would get clean. but i also know that it has to be her choice. and no amout of me downgrading her or pushing her away is gonna help all it will do is compound anger shame guilt. make her want to run away more.

i'm not saying enable her with money or a place to stay. i'm not saying pat her on the back and say its gonna be ok. all i'm saying is give her a darn hug. let the world and that dope kick her butt. just let her know when she's had enough there's people that care about her and are willing to get her help.

thanks love you guys billy