I like being happy but right now I'm not.  I don't really know what emotion I'm feeling which is kinda weird.  I know they say in early recovery feelings come back and sometimes they're hard to deal with since we're not used to feeling them.  I feel like a hypochondriac.  I feel so anxious which I hate.  I have such bad anxiety, I'm on meds for it but I don't think they're working for me anymore.  I go to see my psychiatrist soon but he's on vaca until the 11th so I have to call then, it seems like an eternity.  It's funny the way I usually dealt with these feelings was too use and I hate to admit it but I want to.  I know it wouldn't help in the long run but being home alone right now isn't too good even though I know my man will be here any minute.  I feel like jumping out of my skin! This sucks so bad.

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Trying my best to learn to love what I have!