when i was an angsty teen i used to self-harm... i was never really into drugs although later in my college years i would get obliterated by drinking (every once in awhile)... but for the most part i'm not much of an alcholic or a drug user at all... but one thing i can't seem to kick is my addiction to sexual permisciousness and relationships in general. i love being in love. i hate being bored... though-- so since i started dating people seriously (since i was 18)... i've never managed to stay monogamous. never. there is just something that makes me want something else and i can never figure out what it is... for awhile i thought that i just needed to find someone else... that the person i was with wasn't good enough or that i just needed to find someone who would be a happy in a non-monogamous relationship.
now that i'm older... finding this "happy non-monogamous person" to be partners with sounds more and more ridiculous... mostly becuause i've been looking for that person and i don't know if they exsist.
so i know that even though my exes weren't that great for me... that there IS something i need to work on. i mean i want to be able to have a healhty relationship in which i'm not loosing my interest and wanting something else...
i don't know i'm kind of addicted to my sexaual excapades... ((i mean i don't self-harm anymore, but this is a way of like hurting myself, but not taking responsiblity for hurting myself because it's like what someone else does to me)) or something.
