I've been bulimic for sooo long and have been ready to let go for a while now, I just can't. I've leaned on this for so long, I'm not sure what I'd do without it. Or if I really want to be without it. I have to, though, I know that...I just hope I can find a reason to love myself. Anybody have any advice?-

Maggie -

     Like for many of us that were addicted to a life threatening habit, letting go is hard. I drank for 36 years. My constant companion, best friend. Letting go of that left a huge hole in me. I had to find something to fill it - something good. And stick to it. The program of AA gave me a way to find and hang on to what I needed to fill that void and feel good about /respect myself again. Those simple 12 steps can help...

Hugs,

Dennis

Hey there.  I know exactly how you feel.  All I can tell you is to hang in there and that it is possible. 

I am 22 years old now.  Struggled with eating disorders since age 16.  Bulimic since 19.  Since the age of 19, I had not gone 30 consecutive days without binging/ purging.  I thought it wasn't possible.  I would get so frustrated to fail over and over again.  Everytime I went back to my old habits I would promise myself I would change the next time.  I would try harder.  I would ask for help.  I would beat this.  One more time.  Never worked that way for me.

I am on day 34 today.  Took me a little over 3 years to do it.  The only thing that kept me going was being CONSTANTLY reminded where I want to be.  Before I always got motivated at the beginning but lost that motivation after the first week or two.  I had to surround myself with positive things and joined a program that I knew I would stick to.. I cannot tell you how many programs I have quit through these past several months. 

Something else that helped me open my eyes is how much we are hurting ourselves.  A few weeks ago, I found out another friend I went to treatment with passed away from heart failure and another is back in treatment.  It is things like this that make me realize how important it is that I overcome this.  I should try to beat this for all the friends I have lost to this battle and because we deserve to recover from this hell.

I know you can do this.  I am right here with you. Don't give up and let me know if you need anything at all.

Maggie,

I had a problem with Bulimia and it took a while for me to stop doing it on a regular basis.  The thoughts never go away.  but you will power increases, to make right decisions.  You have to want to let it go even though it is so hard.  It was probably  one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  I can't say that I love myself.  but I think I am learning to respect myself.  Baby steps, I used to say I can throw up in 10 min, then 10 min would pass and I would say 10 more min, and so on.  you get the point till I would not do it

Pray to who ever your higher power is, and are you in therapy, because I have had a therapist for the past four years and it was rough at first but she is the woman who helped me save my life because If I didnt have the courage to stand up and fight for me I dont know If I would be here today. 

 I was Bulimic for a long time.  I dont have that much time under mybelt but I do have the experience of what you are feeling

Hang in there,  If you need me I am here!