Frustrates me.   It also creates a burden on me that I do not like.  Since there is nobody who has created the group, I feel that I have appointed this thankless task.

My OCD mind obsess about this task.  I have no idea why I want to take under such an ordeal.  The 12-step recovery group is working fine for me right now. I working the steps, have a sponsor, and attend 4-6 meetings per week.

If a 12-step working and keeping my sober, why do I feel that I need to burdened to bring in a program that I do not use?

I orginally was attracted a non 12-step program because I did not want to deal with spiritual part of AA because I felt that I had to become a Christian to use the program.  I also felt that CBT was a better method to treat my addiction than a spiritual program

Once I got to rehab, I was proven wrong.  I started to get faith in God back once I realized that Jesus does save people are leftist pinkos who are into Burning Man and you did not have to become a Republican or give up Burning Man to believe in him. 

Now, I am actually working a spiritual program (could be a lot better) and getting a lot out of the 12 step program.

I have the time to run a non 12-step fellowship.  It would just mean that I would go to 2-3 AA meetings a week instead of the normal 4-6 meetings. The job of running meetings is the easy part of the meetings.

What make it difficult will be (i) trying to get a location, (ii) the amount of effort require to promote the event, and (iii) the extensive amount of coaching and mentoring required to run the group.  The group require me to put a huge emotional and time investment to ensure that people are using the program to remain sober and deal with their problems


It just seems too much work for little reward and I am seriously thinking about not even doing it.  However, one can argue that it is selfish act not to start the group.  By not starting the group, people are denied the right to have alternative recovery program other than a 12-step program.  A lot of people in AA would benefit by supplementing their 12-step recovery meeting with a meeting that focus on CBT aspects of recovery.  In addition, people with court cards now actually have a choice go to two different meetings.

 I work for the Feds as an auditor.  My job requires me to use 100% of my brain for eight to nine hours a day.  And now, my work days get even longer because I got to run the alternative to AA while being in AA at the same time and do H&I at the same time. 

In conclusion, I just trying to get my feelings out on this issue so I do not need to worry about the issue.