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| POSTED BY: Dokimazo on 12/04/2008 16:34:35 |
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In another group that I belong to it was suggested that we should have Topic Discussions and I thought it might be of interest here as well... Post as often as you can on the topic till we exhaust the subject...
( LET GO LET GOD )
WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THIS TOPIC AND HOW HAVE YOU APPLIED IT TO YOUR RECOVERY? 
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In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps...
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| POSTED BY: Dokimazo on 12/04/2008 16:36:20 |
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It is hard for us to let go because we confuse letting go with giving up or not caring. There are some things in life over which we have no control; e.g., a rebellious child, a chronic illness, a difficult partner, a physical handicap, the loss of a loved one. No matter how hard we try, we can't change some circumstances, nor can we change another person, and we must go about the difficult task of letting go. To let go is to admit powerlessness in certain circumstances, which means the outcome is in God's hands. To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix but to be supportive. To let go is not to be protective, but to permit another to face reality and learn from their choices. To let go is not to adjust everything to our desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment. To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and to love more.
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In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps...
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Letting go and letting God is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do I think!!! I'm a control freak by nature, and I want the answers to things, and plans made and everything to go my way....Pffffff....yeah right! So getting sober and working a program of recovery has tought me to slow down or stop basically, trying to control everything and let God handle it. When I get out of the way and let God take over I'm almost immediatly relieved. I forget that I have the ability to do this sometimes until I get in enough pain, and then I finally go oh yeah I can pray about this and let it go....what a miracle!!!! Who woulda thunk it! LOL
I like what you said too about how we can think it's not loving or caring to let go, but I'm all for detaching with love, and stepping away from a situation that is out of my control anyway. And sometimes that's the most loving thing we can do. Especially when it's a daughter or son. They are God's children and they have there own path to walk. There is such a freedom in practicing this concept, and I think it's vital to us.
Recently I went through a situation with my uncle who is one of us. He's dying from this disesase, and he won't stop drinking and taking pills. My grandmother wanted to Marchman act him and we did, but this was something I really had to pray about and decide if I wanted to get involved. I've had to say no to my grandmother about going there and checking on him, because it's just to upsetting to see him like that, and he's in such denial...he doesn't want to stop. My husband and I have tried to 12 step him several times. Anyway long story short I did go with her to court, and now he's going for an evalution so we'll see what happens next. But the reason I brought this up is when do we "let go & let God" and when to we try to help....it's a very fine line in my mind ...any thoughts??? I think when someone is literally killing themselves you have to try to help, but part of me is saying just walk away and don't get involved anymore...he doesn't want the help. Thanks for letting me share, and God bless all of us who are on this amazing journey together. 
-Alcoholic named Sunshine
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Through adversity, we find strength.
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| POSTED BY: Dokimazo on 12/05/2008 23:02:22 |
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sugarcain wrote:
Letting go and letting God is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do I think!!! I'm a control freak by nature, and I want the answers to things, and plans made and everything to go my way....Pffffff....yeah right! So getting sober and working a program of recovery has tought me to slow down or stop basically, trying to control everything and let God handle it. When I get out of the way and let God take over I'm almost immediatly relieved. I forget that I have the ability to do this sometimes until I get in enough pain, and then I finally go oh yeah I can pray about this and let it go....what a miracle!!!! Who woulda thunk it! LOL
I like what you said too about how we can think it's not loving or caring to let go, but I'm all for detaching with love, and stepping away from a situation that is out of my control anyway. And sometimes that's the most loving thing we can do. Especially when it's a daughter or son. They are God's children and they have there own path to walk. There is such a freedom in practicing this concept, and I think it's vital to us.
Recently I went through a situation with my uncle who is one of us. He's dying from this disesase, and he won't stop drinking and taking pills. My grandmother wanted to Marchman act him and we did, but this was something I really had to pray about and decide if I wanted to get involved. I've had to say no to my grandmother about going there and checking on him, because it's just to upsetting to see him like that, and he's in such denial...he doesn't want to stop. My husband and I have tried to 12 step him several times. Anyway long story short I did go with her to court, and now he's going for an evalution so we'll see what happens next. But the reason I brought this up is when do we "let go & let God" and when to we try to help....it's a very fine line in my mind ...any thoughts??? I think when someone is literally killing themselves you have to try to help, but part of me is saying just walk away and don't get involved anymore...he doesn't want the help. Thanks for letting me share, and God bless all of us who are on this amazing journey together.
-Alcoholic named Sunshine
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Alcoholic named Sunshine, I appreciated your post and read it with great interest... I always appreciate a heart felt response but reading the content of your post stirred much thought and emotion for me... I have so much I would like to share but my racing thoughts tend to delay the printed word hitting the paper (well internet screen) I stand corrected... lol ! Being a control freak I can truly relate to... What I've done is to redirect that effort/energy of controlling people places and things to my - feelings and emotions... I lacked self-control miserably and was rendered helpless when I got clean in many area's of (self)... The alcohol and drugs no longer numbed me and I began to feel again and couldn't cope... I was overcome with feelings and emotions I didn't know I had let alone what the heck to do with them... It takes a lot of self-control to manage decades of stuffed problems, feelings, emotions and the like so I taught myself to adapt by refocusing that control/energy! I'm still working on it and I've made a lot of progress... I hope I explained this thought clearly... Slowing down is a must for me and slowing down enough to take that split second to process my thoughts that 18 inches from my head to my (((♥))) takes a lot of practice as well... We change one of two ways... - When the pain of the problem becomes greater than the pain of the solution...
or Usually for me the pain leads me to conviction but I know that it's a choice for me... I chose the pain for decades and fortunately for me there were a few people in my life that didn't give up on me and at the age of 48' I finally surrendered my alcoholism and addictions to God... Just as your Grandmother and you haven't given up on your uncle... What is his name for I will place him in my prayers... This evaluation might be the jarring moment he needs... I pray that it is... Your actions are a direct reflecting of your character... I like the person that helped your uncle! You are an example of Recovery in Action... In 12-step programs we are to share our experience, strength and hope... It sounds like that is what you've done... Where I'm at with "letting go and letting God" is not a decision for certain issues that I consciencously decide that I'm not the one to handle it and will permit God to! It is to trust Him in all things not just the perimeters and the debris of my life... Just as surrender is absolute in recovery it is also with God... If I believe in God's grace in any aspect of my life than why would'nt I chose to trust Him in all of it... If I believe I'm a miracle then it's His power that made it possible not mine... So where I'm going is that the only power I ave is in my surrendering to His... As for my involvement in life I put all things to this test! Will my actions edify others or glorify God's... If they do not than I need to back-up and regroup or move on! Well it's getting late and I need to move on! lol Peace out, dokimazo
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In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps...
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Thank you Dokimazo for your input, I loved what you shared and it's good food for thought. I agree with all, and am glad to be reminded. You mentioned somethings too that I had not pondered in that way, so for that I thank you as well.
My uncle's name is Arthur. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers where he is concerned. He's going today for his evaluation.
Great topic & thanks again!  
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Through adversity, we find strength.
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