I want to be untouched by my possesions
instead of being possesed
by what I touch,
to test the taste of having nothing to call mine,
to hold consumptions cravings back,
to be content with luck or lack,
to live as well on water as on wine.

I want to feel the freedom to buy nothing
to revel in the act of making do.
I need to know my worth
is something more than how I look, 
more than that 
today I want to learn to value you.

No camouflage
no entourage
no smoothly fitting in
I want a faith that goes further than face value
and a beauty that goes deeper than my skin.



I struggle with overspending, I fail to have any form of control over my budget and am constantly in debt. It is hurting me and my family, I spend on line, I over buy food, and cannot resist a bargin.

All of this leads to a feeling of worthlessness for after the initial buzz of the purchase I feel guilty and deflated. Does anyone else struggle with this? I believe that it is becomming more and more common. I do not want to be who I am anymore. I want to be like this:

Hi Sally,

Welcome.  I am new here as well.  I read your beautiful poem.  I can relate to it on many levels not so much on a shopping level...although I am not very frivilous for sure.   That is something I am going to focus on more.

I know the 12 Steps address much more than just drugs and alcohol.   I believe all addictions can be overcome with guidance both through the steps and through prayers.  The AA Promises tell us that...

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

 Are these extravagant promises? We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them.

I believe these promises because these things did happen for me the first time around.  If you continue going forward and doing the next right thing...slowly but surely your struggle with overspending will leave....it's a "promise"

Blessings,

Kym