OK, All I can say is CRAP!!!!!!!!!
  Sure I had shoulder surgery, and lost my home, wife, business, career and community; and am doing my best to hold it all together in light of my decision to be clean sober and be in recovery, but GD! It is not easy when my mind still thinks I can go do things like get a job, and then all I find out is that my arm is too weak, or my emotions are too tender.

  Being in recovery is great, and had been a long time coming, but how f***ing long will it be until I can live life on a level that feels like I am participating and contributing in a way that feels stable.

  I seem to be taught the same lesson over and over again, and that is: That the things (jobs, types of work, things I think I should do other than be in recovery) I think are best for me end up not being wise or natural for whereI am in life at all. In other words, what I am left feeling is that, though I can trust my intuition and feelings, I can't trust my thoughts at all, because they lead me to misery, and sameness, and if there are two things I certainly do not want in my life now that I am clean are repedativeness, and unhapiness, knowing full well of the Truth of light&Dark, Yin-Yang of all that is.

  Sometimes it just feels like one BIG FYM..............and not to you-all, but to the way of life that most folks think about life, and when I approach the way I want to live life, I end up broke, alone, and frustrated.

  I think it is time to just take care of myself, go to meetings, pray, do service, and sit for hours under a big tree with what time I have left after doing the previous.

  Any thoughts on the transition of becoming?

Stonecarver5

Breathe, allow, forgive- One day, one hour, one breath sometimes-

Unfortunately, time TAKES time- so honesty, openmindedness and willingness

are needed, in large measures. It is an amazing journey... although I wasn't /

am not, 'in charge' .  Believe that I believe, if need be.  Welcome, Nia

Carver -
     Welcome to recovery. The antithesis of the instant gratification. I found out a while back it isn't all about what I wanted - it was all about what I needed. There's an old adage around the tables: "My best thinking is what got me here". And it sure did. The other is: "Easy Does It"
     Just because I am clean and sober doesn't mean I will be happy - I have to do happy things to be happy. And then bang, life takes a dump on me, so now I'm unhappy for a while. But I don't drink over it. And I get happy again.
     I've even had weeks where it was boring - but boring can be good, because I didn't create any drama or react to somone elses drama - by drinking.
     I don't know the Truth of Light & Dark or the  Yin-Yang of all that is. I do know that going to meetings, getting a sponsor, doing the steps and praying has helped me to no end. The last, service - is a really good thing because if you are busy doing for others you don't have time to dwell on yourself. A friend of mine says the most dangerous place in the world to be by yourself is inside your head.
    Acceptance of ones present situation and place in life can be difficult when you are a normie. When you are one of us? Bad visual. I spent my first six months saying the serenity prayer. It worked. It could be the way you want to do things is not the way that is intended for you. Mayhaps you should look around and see what else is going on - just on the outside chance you might be missing something...
Take care,
Dennis

Transition of becoming - are you're speaking of the current psychlogical term?

Thanks ya'll for taking the time to share your thoughts. today is a better day, and yes meetings are a big part of my recovery. I have stepped it up in the last week or so, and do two a day most days, and it is helping very much.

  Thanks Dennnis for the quote:"My best thinking is what got me here". I like that alot. I am just grateful that my communication with higher power is strong and readily available when I want it, and that my intuition is always feeding me good and healthy directions as to how to proceed in life.

  I always keep in mind the Ultimate Truth:

All things are subject to change.

  This and the quote form the Talmud:

"The highest form of wisdom is kindness".

These are two of my primary guidlines for spiritual understanding along with slogans form the program like 'easy Does it". The good news is, though it was a rough two days, I have perspective and healing that occoured in that time, and am feeling better today, and did not use in the process!!! That is the wonderful reality of the program, that the support to defy the universe where all things are truly subject to change, we decide to not change one thing in our lives, and that is to not use or drink, and we certainly can't do it alone,. so thanks for being here all of you.

  And as for the "Transition of Becoming" I suppose a better way of putting it would be, learing to be Being. Learing the reality of not relying too much on my thoughts and more so on my higher powers guidance through my intuition and feelings, and applying the program and prayer.

 Thanks Ya'll!  

Stoncearver5 

Stoneman -
     OK - I was wondering about the "transition of becoming" phrase. It's a pop psych phrase that now replaces "shut up and grow up" idea. I prefer the blunt approach.
      You're more talking about "doing the next indicated thing". Following His guidance as best as one can. Acting as a Human Doing as opposed to a human being. Walking in His Will. Cool...
TTYL,
Dennis