| Total Views: 1026 - Total Replies: 5 |
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| POSTED BY: seekwill on 09/26/2007 10:51:06 |
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Hello! I´ve just found this site, and I´m excited to have this space open to me. I joined CoDA 3 months ago, and during that time, also realized I have issues with food. Now, the CoDA book says to deal with other addictions first. I´d love to hear the experience of other members on how to deal with being in multiple programs. This may sounds stupid and naive, but has anyone found any success in work the steps sort of abreast or in tandem? Also, myself and another member of the program have agreed to meet one a week and work on the steps together. This isn´t a sponsoring relationship, but a meeting of two people who are equidistance in terms of working the steps. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do or go over? We´re doing step one, so my only thoughts so far are the questions in the CoDA book and doing some step one readings. |
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I'm proud of you for reaching out and finding help. You are on your way to a better way of treating your body!
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This is the Year of The Blessing!
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| POSTED BY: aNiMaL on 10/07/2007 19:19:25 |
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Greetings, Welcome to the site. i hope you find the support you desire here. A little about me ... i'm a multiple Fellowship guy. i started in NA in '91, Al-Anon in '93, AA in earnest in '94, i've also spent time in the rooms of SA and SLAA, and i've been involved in CoDA since '92. "Co-sponsorship" has a huge history there ... it's even mentioned in one of the meeting readings my group uses. Of course, now that i write of it, i can't locate the reference ... ahh, the 9th Tradition in my life strikes again. The CoDA Fellowship here is small, only 3 weekly meetings, so co-sponsorship was about the only thing available to me as a male. Writing from the literature i'm aware of, i have to agree with the CoDA text sugestion that one deal with other addictions first. In the AA book Living Sober, there's a chapter on "Steering clear of emotional entanglements," which states, "When our sobriety has a foundation firm enough to withstand stress, then we are ready to work through and straighten out other aspects of our lives." This was also my experience. i thought i could address the many aspects of my "defects of character" all at once. If you look at my profile, you'll see i have 7 years clean ... if you do the math, that may indicate i've made some mistakes ... a lot of mistakes actually. i don't beat myself up for them because i believe very strongly that "it takes what it takes," however, i also realize that i took on way too much too soon and that those mistakes had their costs. The book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions says it in the fourth step essay this way, "This perverse soul-sickness is not pleasant to look upon. Instincts on rampage balk at investigation. The minute we make a serious attempt to probe them, we are liable to suffer severe reactions." Well, i did suffer those "severe reactions" in my life, and i count myself fortunate indeed to have survived them. In CoDA, we deal with the roots, and some of those roots are very seriously diseased. i've even found myself joining the viewpoint of those who believe that while "not all codependents are addicts, all addicts are codependents." This is a fun sorce of argument with one of the treatment counselors i got sober with who likes to use the control pattern "freely offer others advice and directions without being asked." Sounds like he's in denial to me. If anyone knows of an addict who isn't a codependent, i would certainly appreciate an introduction ... i haven't met one yet.All of this has taught me one very important thing: patience with myself is of vital importance, especially in recovery. i have to be willing to look at the whole person who is "aNiMaL," but i can't reasonably expect i'll be able to change everything all at once.
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You've gotta be tough to be named after a Muppet
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| POSTED BY: aNiMaL on 10/07/2007 19:23:50 |
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for some technical reason i don't get, the above message's formatting went haywire, but the last part can be read if highlighted ... guess i should write in word, then just paste (?) Anyway... grrrrr
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You've gotta be tough to be named after a Muppet
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I guess most folk tackle things a bit at a time, too much ambition and failiure seems assured. However, most if not all multiple addictions have the same root circumstance[s] so whether one works on one of a number of addictions or one of a number of components of all the addictions [such as guilt or low self esteem] the result ends up the same. In practice, it may prove to be the case though, that finding well constructed approaches/plans for dealing with a whole addiction are more common than those for dealing with any of its components taken in isolation so that one has little choice in the matter. The first step of all is recognising ones need. The second is to ask permission of oneself to seek repair, and in doing so one needs to recognise that treating ones addictions is by its very nature a selfish thing to do. And one simply HAS to understand the need to dispense with any resultant feelings of guilt over that, forgive yourself! My best advice to anyone and everyone is...If you feel you would prefer one approach rather than another that ought to be your right to choose. The more it suits you the better the chances of success. In practice this may present some special difficulties and working closely with a sponsor is more than just likely a good idea it is all but essential in overcoming any difficulty. I hope you find your way pet.
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ever tried reasoning with a crocodile?
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| POSTED BY: Cara on 12/08/2007 10:07:11 |
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Here are some websites I have found useful in step work.. http://www.12step.org/ http://www.barefootsworld.net ... and of course all information needed for working any step in any addiction recovery can be gleaned from the Big Book. I came to this forum hoping to hear lots of stories from lots of multiple addicts and there do seem to be a lot on this site in particular. As a sex addict with SAA I have come across quite a few alcoholics and drug addicts who are also sex addicts but they have all found it harder to beat sex addiction than their other substance addiction and have dropped out of the fellowship after a few weeks. This disturbs me and I for one would really like to find some answers to that one. That is perhaps me being a little co-dependent, I agree with that one, we all are. I am also intriegued over the co-sponsoring issue because we always seem to have a lot of newcomers and very few more experienced members who can sponsor. So I will keep an eye on it. Cara
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Progress not Perfection
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