What can I say, 'cept I miss this site and you guys! I think about you often and pray that your lives are blessed with countless miracles as mine is lately...
I still can't help but find myself to be in complete awe as to all the changes that is rapidly occurring in my life. Just yesterday, I was asking my neighbor if he ever thought that our lives would be at where they are now from a year ago. Even he found himself blown away at the thought. Indeed everything happens for a reason, even the people we meet, and I cannot help but see a synergy existing...even though I do not understand it yet.
To give you an idea, since I moved into to my own place just over a year ago, my neighbor and I have become very close friends. I have never found myself in such a busy social setting before and now I'm hardly ever home, as I've been befriending people from school and from work. Where I used to "hate people," I'm now turning into the social butterfly. Not to mention that he also has developed his own friendship with them. As wonderful as this is, it has unfortunately caused ripples with the landlord due to complaints from the other neighbors, so I'm not sure if we're going to stay where we are for the time being, or run with the idea that we -- and a couple of other friends -- share a place together, because being a college student is expensive!
Aside from that, he's looking to get a management position for a trucking company that another friend is putting together. They've been busy crunching the numbers and meeting investors, so hopefully this dream will manifest into reality sometime next month. Moreover, just out of some crazy comment that I made in recent months, he decided to actually start up a paranormal investigation society. Amazing how a mutual interest can blossom because now he's trying to turn the group into an efficient and manageable size.
One of the awesome fellows whom I've recently met and brought into the group, not only is my neighbor impressed with his performance, but doesn't seem to mind that somewhere along the line, we've developed a relationship.
Now lemme tell you folks...this guy is utterly amazing. Not only does he treat me with loving consideration -- something I am not even used to, but he is nearly 14 years younger than me! ...Which he doesn't seem to mind. I mean, he's aware that I have three grandkids and my daughter is two years younger than him. Naturally, I can't help but be amazed by how good he is towards me and the fact that I am quite older than he is, is enough to make me want to sabotage a great thing. So far, I am doing okay even though I do have my moments of insecurity… To be honest, I tend to think that his beloved subculture lifestyle is what helps in his open mindedness.
I confess that this subculture isn’t one that I would normally participate in, except that I am seeing that there could be some benefits which may help me be less wishy-washy about my assertiveness, as I am still a big push-over when it comes to saying ‘No.’
Can I see myself having a long term relationship with this guy? This is a question I have asked myself long and hard the moment he suggested we be a couple… For the first time in my life, I do believe the answer is yes. Yes, because I am not dependent on him for my happiness, financially or anything else, especially since I have learned to be responsible for myself and my own feelings.
I can tell you from the amazing things happening in my life now is that there is something remarkable about this whole recovery thing. No matter what your addiction is, no matter what you believe, no matter how afraid you are... Don't quit before the miracle happens! Life on the other side is amazing...
