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More on that First Step (forgiveness/living help)
Posted On 01/21/2010 13:40:57 by KeithB

MORE-THAT FIRST STEP (forgiveness)
As usual, my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons has hit a very good topic with this week's Idea Engineer.
Recently I did a blog on that first step that sparked very good response. Response indicates that it caused some thought, and I love to do that internally and spark it in others.
Randin talks about a first step to forgiveness, and his words are in keeping with I try to live and coach others in. This week says:
The first step to forgiveness

"To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it." -- Christiane Northrup

"To forgive, we do not have to say that whatever happened was okay. In fact, before we can forgive, we need to allow ourselves to really feel the pain of the experience. If we don't fully acknowledge our hurts, we will continue to carry them subconsciously and they will drain our energy.

To forgive, we need to decide that we won't allow the memories of the event to poison us any longer. We're ready to heal this wound from the past and open to a fresh new beginning.
The blessing is that when we're really ready to experience our pain and we open to it, it usually fades away. By honouring our pain, we release it."

"We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot choose to forgive it." -- Kenneth McNoll

A thing all must remember-we don't have to say all was OK; we don't have to be door mats. We are right to feel, but that being said, we have to let go. We don’t have to let bad experiences occupy the valuable space in our heads like tenants who don't pay rent! Honour the pain, then release it; use the head space for something constructive!! Get ready for new beginnings every day.
Have some thoughts about this. Please share them for the benefit of all.
You are also strongly invite to visit our web site at www.hopeserenity.ca and view the changes and get involved. The thought you post may make a huge difference to someone struggling with life issues.


Tags: Addiction HelpICF CERTIFIED Addiction And Life Coach



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Viewing 1 - 1 out of 1 Comments

From: DennisS
01/21/2010 17:49:19

Keith -


    My slant is a bit different on this (may be semantics more than anything else). Just the fact that I am contemplating forgiving someone (as opposed to ripping their face off) means that I've already experienced or am realizing the pain of the action. So my choice are stew over it and sharpen the claws, resolve the injury with the offending party or write it off and chalk it up to education. I tend to use the last two as my normal tools and save the first as an extreme option. Note that these actions I do to hurt myself. Forgiveness starts about 18 inches below my head...


Hugs,


Dennis





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