HUMOUR- Don't lose it!
Early in the process of life recovery I found that whatever sense of humour I had left had disappeared. I had trouble genuinely laughing, particularly at myself. I must say that over time, a sense of humour (sometimes twisted) returned to my life, and I love to laugh.
I'm not the greatest shopper in the world. My wife does not push it with me. I'd love to be able to say that the situations below were about me, but that wouldn't be true. I can say they did give me a great laugh and one day I'd love to try a few of them out!
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany heron her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Bray,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but certainly not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
I hope this share brought at least one laugh or smile to your face. If it didn't, might be time for an attitude adjustment! I'd like to thank my friend Vickie Wisdom who shared this with me, and invite a few of you "glum lot" who might read this to share some humour on this site (and we'd love to see it at www.hopeserenity.ca) and please make sure, make at least a laugh a day a part of your life. It works as well as apples (or bananas) do!
Tags: ICF Certified Life And Addictions Coach
