It wasn't until I was 20 years old that I even smoked pot. I'd never been interested in drugs (to the dismay of my friends :p). But I always liked escaping. My favorite way was reading. Since I was a kid, and even now, I become completely engrossed in books and often read them in one or two sittings. Video games were another favorite escape.
When I was 22, I got an abcessed tooth - my dentist went on vacation and then got sick - so for nearly a month I was on demerol and Vicodin until he was able to do a root canal. When the prescribed painkillers ran out, I started to miss that feeling and turned to the street for pills. It started innocently enough - taking 1/2 a pill for a long night class in college here and there. The opiates made me feel so productive and attentive, happy and talkative. The small occasional use lasted for a year or so, then something happened. It seemed, suddenly, that 1 pill a day turned in to 5, then 10. After a couple years, even the 10 a day didn't make me happy anymore yet I was scared to take more for fear of tylenol poisoning. I tapped out all my resources. Paying $5 or $6 a pill, 10 pills a day... disgusting. Just to feel normal. And all I did was worry about money, where i'd get more for more pills and disgust with myself for always being dead broke. I tried many times to "taper" off, but after so many tries I realized i needed help.
I heard about suboxone and in August of 2008 got on it for a few months. I stayed clean for 5 months or so, but I hadn't changed. I didnt seek counselling, or stick with NA, so of course I relapsed and picked right back up where I started. I can't believe I even finished my bachelor degree...
So here I am now, again, back on suboxone as of August 12 2009, but armed with more than just suboxone - I now also have the knowledge that I have to make lifestyle changes, and go to treatment and NA... not JUST be sober.
