I just now noticed... Tomorrow will mark two years since having joined this amazing site!

What have I learned about myself since then?

Well, for starters, I am still a serious control freak who gets agitated when things don't go the way I think they should. Fortunately these occurances are getting to be far and few between... Also, it has been helpful to recognize the H.A.L.T. triggers as I'm still quite prone to getting stuck in my head, especially when I assume everyone's world must revolve around me so I can beat myself up for my disappointment.

On the bright side, I'm isolating less and less. Hell... Who's got time to do that? Har...

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am finding myself appreciating life, people, and the world around me -- including myself. Something I never imagined would happen. And as a result, I am finding I am more willing to take risks, even though I still act rather impulsively. In fact, I did something I never expected I'd have the proverbial balls to do... Recently, I bluntly told a friend I liked him. Of course he didn't reciprocate the notion (because deep down I know we're not compatible anyway), and I found myself to be fine with it.

If anything, I was rather proud of myself for doing what I have the hardest time doing, and that's communicating what I think or how I feel without expecting the other person to already know. It really does alleviate a lot of headaches! Not to mention playing games and other needless drama.

Although I wish I had more time to work on myself (i.e. journaling and stepwork/bookwork), I find that as long as I make a conscious effort, the bad habits I have progressively improves. Moreover, what we learn in the recovery program is greatly important in maintaining our state of serenity. Namely that of gratitude and, of course, helping others...which truly helps ourselves.

Sometimes I find myself getting so caught up with the day-to-day activities of life, I admit that I take what I have learned for granted to the point of neglect. So when I find myself emotionally or behaviorally stumbling back into such old habits, I am quicker to bounce back before crashing and burning into a depressive state of self pity.

No matter how busy I'll get, I will always come back. It's good to have that reminder that I am not unique. Nor am I alone... For my path is shared by you amazing folks embarking on your own journeys of self acceptance and healing.

Thank you for that. Thank you for your experiences. Thank you for being you... Thank you!

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