hi folks,
aNiMaL decided to grace you with his presence ... so get out the pooper scooper and the hair remover sticky rollers that'll clean up the pink and orange fur i'll shed on your clothes if you get too close.
Been doing my normal thing:
Neurotic
Over
Reacting
Mal
Adjusted
Loonatic
See, i'm perfectly NORMAL, and don't bother correcting my spelling, anyone who knows anything about me knows i don't care about that ... if it mattered here, my spell checker wouid work here.
i'm in a pissy mood because yet another friend of mine was removed from life support last night after making the final payment on his installment plan suicide, also known as the disease of addiction. He'll be dead in a week or so.
Insert foul language warning here.
i know, i know, i BI**H about folks killing themselves here a lot. i'll make you a deal: when mother-f**kers quit killing themselves in this disease, i'll quit complaining. Until then, either let me bitch, or go read one of those happy horse s**t blogs by someone who only goes to tea-party meetings, if they go to meetings at all, and ignores the still struggling newcomer. That ain't me, and i ain't here to kiss your little perfumed bottom, no matter how pretty i might think it is.
My opinion/experience/whatever the h*ll? you want to call it, is that if you don't know someone who's died from this disease, you probably haven't helped enough newcomers yet. That's right, aNiMaL is a judgemental prick, or maybe aNiMaL is just tired of going to hospitals to see crying children and hold the cold hands of dieing people who might have lived with this disease for many years if had they'd had the courage and character, or enough of a beating, to develop the quality of willingness. If that makes me a prick, i'm okay with being a prick today. i'm crying as i write this. Nuff said.
i am tired of burying my people. i know i am going to bury a lot more. Why? Because i will not hide from the fatal nature of the disease of addiction. If i did, someone i know would end up burying me, and sometime soon, i'll wager.
Anger is a normal and natural part of the grief process. That doesn't mean i have to like it, but it does mean i've got to go through it. POOP!
So, i strongly suggest that some of your friends may want to make a decision not to play games with recovery. That makes the bold assumption that the game players and recovery posers will have stopped reading this by now. The disease isn't playing any games.
There, i feel a little better now. Do your friends and family a favor and don't let yourself die from this disease. It's really an ugly way to go.
So, you may be asking who is this guy who calls himself aNiMaL? i'm just another addict with a sensitive nature, a big heart, and i give a damn.
Those of you in western Washington who want to go are invited to the WSCA convention to meet the aNiMaL. If things don't go too far sideways before October 25th, i'll be the closing speaker. See http://caofwa.org/events.htm for registration info. i'll try not to poop the speech up too much. We're all entitled to have a bad day now and again ... this is one of mine.
i still don't get here very often, but if you want, feel free to write me at furfaced1@yahoo.com
e-hugs
