jody’s thots 4 Today
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Monday, April 27, 2009
Lots of schuffs. The Holy Weekend was Superb! Good Friday celebration was An Awesome night of praise, and time to ponder to Totally Unselfish Gift that Jesus Christ gave us… His Own Life given up freely to satisfy the wrath of God for our sins…WOW! Saturday night and Easter morning were indeed Awe inspiring with Worship, singing and dance.. But…..
Bobbie was feeling poorly all weekend.. .and on Easter Monday, I took him to the ER to be checked our for chest pain. He was there for about 4 hrs… and all tests came back negative for any heart problems. Yet, since Easter Weekend, he has been vomitting, and is perspiration excessively. This has gone on too long!
Seems like I have been praying for him to be healed the pain he is in 24/7. He has been in So Much Pain, for Soooo LONG!!! It is hard for me… yes.. hard for me to see him like this all the time. He has been off on Workers Comp Disability since just after Christmas, when he slipped on ice at the Station. And his neck has not gotten any better;. They are thinking he may have a bone pressing on a nerve in the Spinal Column of his neck. And his legs go numb… and on and on and on…..
And I get depressed, I try not too, but I do! I struggle really badly with my addiction. The obsessions, and the thoughts, and then the complete and utter emptiness leaves me wondering how I can praise GOD, and dance and sing, when inside there is so much pain and misery, yes, and anger, that life hasn’t changed. Bobbie is still Sick and in Pain… Always financial problems…
And then, just when I thought I had about all I could handle… the big dogs got into a fight, and Leah, The Alpha-Female, who started the fight, has one of her fangs precariously hanging on to a string of gum, and is lying sideways under her lip.
Now the dog thing was truly intense… I HATE Fights… and I get terrified of them… and I am afraid that the neighbours may complain.. and have the bylaw cops come out… (We are only allowed 2 dogs… and we have 3 big ones in the back yard, and one little one in the house. When Kerry moved in from the Island 4 yrs ago, she brought her big dog with her….) . I called for help over and over, but was afraid when my husband came out, because he Rages… and that would make things even worse!
Leah has to go to the vet tomorrow. She is my Baby… I have had her since she was a pup… almost 9 yrs ago! But she can be aggressive, and I am so scared!!! I don’t know about vet fees, but it will be very expensive…..
I Don’t know how to let go… I don’t know how
Father GOD… I need to learn to surrender…I am so terribly scared…
PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Tags: Life Faith Pain
