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Could I be a Love Addict Too????
Posted On 04/23/2009 21:05:18 by pjprincess

I have been in love with my ALO for almost 3 yrs. now. We have been broken up since last August,but since then its been so complicated on how I'd define what we are to one another anymore. I know I deserve more than just "Friends with Benefits" and when we are with each other, it certainly feels like its more than just that,but I just don't know anymore.

He has admitted to me that he needs to work on himself and not deny feelings or needs that he has for anyone anymore. This equates to him wanting to dabble in the swinging lifestyle as well as he goes about things in general from a different view pt. than me. I can't deny this reality anymore. IT IS WHAT IT IS,isn't that what we are told/taught??? This reality is something that is very difficult for me. I want a life with this man. I have never loved someone so strong or deeply before. And I am having difficulty letting go....totally surrendering him to a HP and let things happen the way they are suppose too. I know, there are no guarentees...but my heart is just sooo sad and feels like its tearing apart with the knowledge that he and I may NEVER be a couple again. That just seems unfathamable to me....please don't make me accept that....please.

I would love nothing more than for us to do whatever growth or changing we need to for our individual health and then be able to come back together again. But the way things look, that doesn't seem likely, and I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!! I want him and only him. I have become much better at not obsessing as much....calling and texting uncontrollably and repeatedly.  God knows, I want to be healthy....to not depend on another person for my happiness....to validate me as a person. And I'm trying....Lord knows I am....just like with any addiction/problem we are working on....it takes baby steps...one foot in front of the other,right???

I just want to be happy with being me.....and not feeling like i'm stupid anymore.

 



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Viewing 1 - 7 out of 7 Comments

From: sprite
04/25/2009 21:36:47


Hey there, just want to offer my support, I know how it's often easier said than done to switch off your emotions when you have fallen for someone. (And sorry I don't know what ALO is so I can't comment on that, but I gather that he is a bf and that's all I need to know!)

Look after yourself first and foremost and allow time to pass one day at a time. It can take a while to detach from someone, you just have to give it time, you will feel better a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Tell yourself this, even if you are not feeling it in the present moment. 

From: DisgruntledGurl
04/25/2009 02:19:40

Wow... I coulda wrote this years ago myself! Where does the fine line of love begin, and where does infatuation/attachment end? Acceptance and letting go is something I still struggle with, so you're not alone.

It'll get easier when you become more confortable living in your own skin.

Hang in there!

From: Bob777
04/24/2009 00:40:20

Feelings and emotions are just that... Feelings and emotions. They don't travel down the path of logic or intelligence, sometimes they even show up uninvited. They don't however mean that one is stupid. Whatever is supposed to happen will likely happen. Just try not to suffer too much in the interim. Take care, Bob

From: Drew
04/23/2009 22:33:06

Oh Yea I ment To Tell You Your Not Stupid !!!!!

From: Drew
04/23/2009 22:32:04

WOW love is a tuff thing to deal with when the one we love makes us so darn unhappy rather we are with them or without them (mainly because Its us letting people places or things make us unhappy). If only they would think and act the way we want them to !!!! Fact is they dont and never will. The funny thing is for me I have had those same type feelings of pain and wanting a person to be my only and me be theres with many many Ladys then after the smoke cleared I was not right for them and they were not right for me . It always seemed to boil down to I was In Love With The Ideal Of What Or Who I Thought they were.  Not What Or Who They Realy Were.


Any Way Hang In There. I Really Believe You Know The Answer To Your Problems. Thanks For Sharing.

From: pjprincess
04/23/2009 22:18:38

Philip, I'd thank you for your comment,but I don't really understand what you are saying....sorry. But thanks for reading my blog just the same.

From: Philip
04/23/2009 22:10:17

you are what you are, when you say you are

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