Oh I am sorry. That is how I feel, like he has died... I miss him. I sit and stare for hours out the window hoping, praying the next car or phone call is God bringing my husband home... It seems fighting the battle of my drug is easier than this. It has been four months since he walked out; I still wear my wedding band. I don't want to take it off...   I have two good friends and my family, ha they are as negative as they come.......

2 years ago this month I lost my husband of 10 years to cancer, I felt the same emotions, except I asked God, "why me". Please don't think you were not good enough for him....Sometimes things happen and at that moment we do not understand why, but as painful as it is now, later, know there will be a reason.  I have forever been changed by his death, but I a new outlook on life. I will pray you get through these difficult times. Surround yourself with friends, be strong and please know you will survive, dont doubt yourself!!! Amy

I have been there, very very recently in fact. You are not alone. I am going with ByGrace on this one. Each time I begin obsessing about him and all the unanswered questions and feeling all the accompanying hurt, I ask myself and God what I can do to take care of myself in this moment. How can I love me RIGHT NOW?! So I do everything I can, and God gives me whatever I need to get through the moment, as it will pass, and the feelings are temporary as well. It's hard to see light when you're in the middle of it, but I trust God to bring me through it, and I cry out to Him all day long. Keep praying and loving yourself babe, and if you don't feel like loving yourself "acting as if" you love yourself works too until one day you'll wake up and look in the mirror and realize that you in fact do love yourself. You're in my prayers hun.

love and hugs

Jessie

I work M through F 8-4, go to school M&W 7:30 - 8:45, T&TH 6:00 - 7:15 which keeps me busy, but not from thinking.... I have one TRUE friend, she is amazing, she is a rock, I am blessed to have her in my life.....

Sounds like he is putting you on a roller coaster. Take care of YOURSELF.