I usually find I am 'deflecting' (defense) as Dennis said-

and secondarily, one upmanship.

Fear usually covers sadness for me- sadness of not 'being enough'

in either case-      Nia

Thanks all!  I knew I was here for a reason. 

Love, peace and Thanks!!!

T -

     OK - you lied.  Not something to be proud of. It's happened before, and most likely someone will do it again. I've lied numerous (science doesn't seem to have an number that represents that extreme magnitude) times. Proud of none of them. Most  - especially back in the day - were to do just what you said. Fit in, get approval or make conversation.  Other times it was to try and defend myself, deflect blame or duck responsibility (those were really stupid).

     We all have a common little problem. EGO. We find it vastly important to fit in - be accepted. If we fit in we have to try and be the center of attention. We often up the ante by creating our own little drama. One upmanship. Self importance.

 The only thing that clears the slate is to go to the others involved in the conversation and simply tell them. If you were BS'ing or talking trash just to fit in, tell them. Which would mean you were afraid of not fitting in or being accepted - tell them that too. If these are members of a fellowship I think you may get some surprise responses.

Take care,

Dennis

Hey T

I think that honest grows as we do when we work our the 12 steps of our recovery program.  Just your willingness to see that you did lie and did it just because you could is in fact insight so you now have come to realize you can make a choice in future matters. It's all up to you...do you want to change (and it's gonna hurt) or stay the same (and it's really gonna hurt-may even kill you)?

Think, think, think!

Karie

PS a belated Welcome to the site!!