I have the motivation.
But only in the moment.
When talking about something I have been interested in, or something I have set to the side, I find the push I need to continue with it.
Until tomorrow.
Then, that motivation is pushed, once again, into the back corners of my mind amongst the cobwebs.
Life's daily complications take over.
Why is that?
I need to find a way to hold onto that motivation.
To keep it within me.
I find that "umph" for the things I am currently doing day to day.
Because they are staring me right in the face.
Looking at me, demanding my attention.
How do I make the things that will bring me further into the depths of happiness, stand out in that same way?
I need to figure out how to make them nag at me.
Maybe it's just as simple as going out there and doing it.
No matter how much I don't want to tomorrow.
Because if it spiked my interest enough for me to get excited and enthusiastic about it, does it not deserve my attention and effort?
I think it does.
I want to go back to school, to begin dance, skating, piano and violin again. To put as much effort into my own life as I do with everyone elses.
Among many other things.
It's time to do ME.
I need to hold onto this motivation.
It can't be all that complicated, or hard.
If you can do it, if they can do it, then fuck...
So can I.
Perseverance is key.
Procrastination is not.
As an addict, procrastinating is definitely a favourite past time.
But I have recovery.
Recovery teaches perseverance.
Time to jump head first into the pool of forgotten interests and set aside dreams.
Just for today, I will keep myself motivated.
Simple as that.
