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back to the beginning
Posted On 03/01/2009 14:42:07 by critical

Well,I messed up,relapsed,slipped.I started drinking again and have blown my wifes fragile trust clean out of the water.I have stopped using a lot of substances in my life but alcohol is the hardest for me.I dont even like being drunk,I like the buffer a buzz gives me.I am scared in my everyday life with no reason to be scared.I am talented,strong,tall,have two beautiful sons,and I am an alcoholic.

Alcohol will cause me to lose everything I have,if I do not work the program.

Peace,Donovan



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Viewing 1 - 5 out of 5 Comments

From: Nia
03/02/2009 08:00:00

Re-read a Doctors opinion, in the Big Book-

Has your wife read it ?

Cunning, baffling, powerful- & deadly....

You haven't lost what you are learning about the disease, you are adding to it...

Reach out-in prayer, for the literature- to a sponsor, meetings, -you have already

begun again here!   Nia

From: DennisS
03/01/2009 19:04:16

Donovan -


     It leads to the question - what didn't you do? There's a reason for everything, including picking up that first drink.  I'd talk with my sponsor and take a long hard look at what I didn't do and plug the leak.


     It's not back to the beginning. If it were the "beginning" you'd be a clueless newcomer, scared what was going to happen. Your sobriety is not wasted. You learned quite a bit, picked up some tools. use them and add more.


     One thing to think about - Don't be an "andan". If you place this disease in your mind as you placed it in your sentence; "...and an alcoholic", you relegate it to relative unimportance in the scheme of things. I'm a recovering alcoholic. All the other things I am and have I won't be and will lose if I don't place my recovery first...


YF,


Dennis


 

From: Godluvsall
03/01/2009 18:16:44

Sending support. YOU CAN START OVER:)

From: Kariemac
03/01/2009 17:51:02

Donovan


Hang in there and do continue to take it one day at a time.


It is unnatural for an alcoholic not to drink!  To not drink in certain situations takes many attempts at rewiring our brains to do something consistently diferent- know what I am saying.  Yes it is complicated.


So stop today beating yourself up and continue to reach out to people who care and understand- fellow alcoholics.


May your relapse be used in a way to help the still suffering alcoholic out there.


God Bless and Hugs,


Karie

From: Philip
03/01/2009 17:18:43

I too know what it is like to relapse and have a wife watch me plummet. For me all I could do was get back to meetings and double up my efforts. The trust thing will take time, just as it has before. Hang in there and do the next right thing.


GOD bless


Philip

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