Did you ever notice that there's a lot of drama that goes along with active addiction?  Now that I don't have all that drama, I feel myself drawn to it sometimes.  I catch myself wanting to be a part of drama.  Then it will be like, "Oh yeah, I remember this feeling."  For some reason, I'll want to revisit that part of the hell.  I might see the drama that others are caught up in.  I watch it...maybe get a vicarious drama hit...maybe start to become involved.  Then I think, "I'm too old for this s**t. I can't deal with it any more.  I'm too tired.  I don't want to waste my energy."  The other strange feeling is that a lot of the stuff doesn't even really matter.  I mean, all that high drama and then in the long run, it doesn't matter.  Maybe that has a fatalistic ring to it but the way I see it now, I'm just going to do my best, be kind to others and myself, and try and make my way in this world.  Man, I sure did used to love the drama.  It was an adrenaline rush.  Sick rush.  Thank you God for the peace!  Thank you God for the ability to see the drama and step back and say, "No thanks!"  What a blessing. 

Tags: Healthy Choices Drama Addiction

Bookmark: