Why One Man Quit
"How come you don't drink any more?", a renewed acquaintance from long ago asked me the other day.
"Any more than who?"
"I mean any longer. How come you don't drink anything these days?"
""Drink? I drink coffee, milk, tea, soda pop, water, fruit juices...."
"I mean drink", he said, "You know, BOOZE."
"Oh, BOOZE. No, I don't drink booze anymore, you're right," I said, "I couldn't trust it anymore. It turned on me. Once my friend, it became my enemy."
"Maybe you got a bad batch," he said.
"No, the sauce is the same, I changed. Because I have the illness of alcoholism, my tolerance weakened. Alcoholism doesn't come in a bottle. It comes in people."
"Sounds pretty confusing," the fellow said.
"You think you're confused," I said, "you should have seen me. I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable; I drank to be outgoing and became self centered; I drank for sociability and became argumentative and lonely. I drank for sophistication and became crude and obnoxious; I drank for friendship and made enemies; I drank for sleep and awakened without rest; I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self pity. I drank for strength and felt weak; I drank to prove my masculinity and it sapped my potency; I drank medicinally and got sick; I drank because I thought my job called for it and lost my job. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes; I drank for confidence and became uncertain; I drank for courage and became afraid; I drank for assurance and became doubtful. I drank to stimulate thought and blacked out; I drank to make conversation and it tied my tongue; I drank for warmth and lost my cool; I drank for coolness and lost my warmth. I drank to feel heavenly and came to know HELL; I drank to forget and became haunted; I drank to erase problems and saw them multiply; I drank to cope with life and invited death ...or worse. I drank because I had the right and everything turned out wrong."
"Gosh," my friend exclaimed, "that must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in that shape."
"Just ONE," I told him. " The first one. For me, One is too many and a thousand aren't enough."
"So that's why you don't drink anymore?"
"Yep, I made it a rule, `I don't drink while I'm sober.'"
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