At the meeting I went to last night the topic was fear. I did my 5th step recently, and my sponsor had me write out all my fears, and I might as well have just wrote one word: Everything! It was amazing as I looked at the list, said it out loud, and reflected on it. I have been a fear based thinker all my adult life, actually going back to when I was very young. I will turn the least thing, in this strange mind I have, into a catastrophe before I know it.
Fear based thinking. I have to be rid of that. It's poison. My sponsor, who is maybe the most spiritual I've ever known, has a saying that is simple but true: God is either everything or nothing. He also has taught me that God wants only the best life for us. My prayers and meditations are based nowadays on the fact that God is Love, that He loves me more than I could ever comprehend, and to give Him everything, and give thanks for all the beauty and blessings He's constantly bringing into my life. He's taught me to ask God for everything I need today. Mind you, life is still tough on many levels, but that's my doing, that's me.
Thank you God and AA for my sobriey.
Tags: Reflective
