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QUICK HIDE!!!!

Posted On 12/29/2008 22:12:40 by TamG

Although my Holidays were good I honestly gave no thought to my recovery. Didnt even cross my mind until a couple days ago.

Here is a quick chapter in "The Story Of Tammy", which is, of course, a living document.....

Three Christmas parties, Christmas shopping. socializing. Having to get dressed up and be happy. The responsibility of making everything perfect for my son and mom so I dont somehow deprive them of all the joy holidays should bring. FINDING joy in my sons as always. Wanting to hide from the rest of it all.

You see, for some reason having people around me for extended periods of time is overwhelming for me. A bit like sensory overload. All I want to do is bury myself under the covers.

OK, Im great now and despite the unhealthy habits I have retreated to, I did have a great holiday. I am so blessed by my family and friends. Surprisingly I have had moments of ACTUAL happiness and excitement for the future. I havent felt that for YEARS. And guess what? I wasnt drinking or eating or cuddled up in bed during these epiphanies.

Could this be a new chapter?

Heres the rub, if I had been PRACTICING my recovery these last days, how much more happines and excitement would I have felt?

I'm gonna keep that one close to my heart!

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Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

From: KeithB

12/30/2008 15:32:53 Think you have looked inside yourself and asked a great question. How much better could it have been? Your HP looks after you, and glad your holidays were solid! But remember HP does a better job helping those who help themselves!! Make New Years and 2009 fantastic! luv

From: flowerchildofjc

12/30/2008 05:18:40

I can relate. I get overwhelmed by having too many people around me for extended periods of time too. Also putting the weight of other's happiness on your shoulders can be a bit much to add to that pile, believe me, I can relate. I am struggling with those same issues as we speak. I am learning though. I am making progress. I am better than I was 2 years ago, a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago. I get better at saying "no" and only taking responsibilities on that are truly mine to begin with. You can't please everyone all the time, and I'm not trying to today. As much
God Bless you dear
Be gentle with yourself
love and hugs
-Jessie

From: DennisS

12/29/2008 22:54:30 Tam - "Heres the rub, if I had been PRACTICING my recovery these last days, how much more happines and excitement would I have felt? " Interesting question, thereby leading to yet another, more deeper question. What do you feel (if anything) was missing that would have made it better or more fulfilling? Just a thought. Glad you had a good Christmas... YFIR, Dennis

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