I need your help trying to understand what this is.
I have now been whining about my wifes and mine separation several times, how i know we need to detach and how difficult it is. My wife has just come to some conclusions herself.
She claims that one of her addictions are relationships, they give her a high, but ours don't do that for her anymore, that's why she has souhgt that in others.
She doesn't want a relationship with anyone, including me, at the moment, she says she needs to â€detox†from relationships.
She still sees us as married and recognises our marriage before God, she says the right thing for her to do is to stay faithful to me, still bound by her promises before God.
Sh says that the right thing for her to do is that if we can't have a healthy realtionship she doesn't want any other relationship, since she is bound to me by her promises before God.
Her goal is to live in a healthy relationship with me. Her alternative is no relationship at all.
She will still tell me what boundaries she sets up to other men, and what boundaries she fails to set, just as she has promised me earlier.
We will write a first, second and third step prayer for ourself to start our day with, praying together via the phone if we're not at the same place and we will still end our day with the serenity prayer togheter. She still doesn't want to pray it â€togeter†as in using the word â€usâ€, but want to use the word â€me†instead.
She wants to continue mairriage councelling for my sake, so that i can get to deal with her cheating on me, but she doesn't want to discuss that matter outside councelling. She has agreed to answer all the questions i have. Once, and then never again. I feel that she is trying to control how i deal with her infidelity and in that i cannot meet her.
Praying togheter without using â€us†is really wrong to me, but praying togehter is still more important than that small word.
Apart form that i totally agree with her. I too have been unhealthily addicted to her and given up my life for her.
This i have wanted to put an end to and now we can do it together.
I love her and that's why we need to separate, so that i can give her healthy love instead of addictive love.
I too, just as she, have the goal of living in a healthy relationship with her and don't want anyone else.
So folks... What do you think? Good or bad desicions? Doomed or not? I feel really confused, but it feels good. I am still anxious and feel bad about the separation, but i also feel God at work in this.
As i have said before i know that it is Gods will that we should be togheter, that we have work to do for God and i feel that this is the only way we can move towards Gods will.
My love for her is so big, i don't know how to handle the pain of letting her go. Well, i know i can't and i pray that God does it for me.
