what to do, what to do.
I haven't been taking to my mom for a few months now,  just getting by pretending she never existed.  But after talking to her brother, my uncle for the first time in close to a year, everything rushing back.  The tone in his voice was so unsure, so distant.  I could not help but ask about her, isnt that why I called after all?? she was okay, still with Adam.  Still in Seattle.  so nothings changed. my heart sunk.  For her, for me.  "she misses you Em, when we talk, If I mention you she starts to tear up and just goes quiet.. you really need to give her a call, kiddo, I know she misses you" Im not even aloud to call her.  Everything is just getting far to real for me. I know, that there is no way I could EVER walk out the door, on my family again, but the longing is still there.  Ive got money, I could just LEAVE. go, get high and all these feelings would melt away.
But I cant.
Ive come to far now to throw it all away.
I just gotta get through it, worse comes to worse, indulge in a bowl of ice cream.
this feeling will pass....
Tags: Family Cravings
