Well its monday morning and after everything been said and done i know what happened at the weekend and i guess in my heart i know why it happened
It wasnt the fact i wanted to fall off, it was me trying to run before i could walk, i missed having a buzz in my life at the minute, i know alot of people say there faith gives them that kinda buzz, but me i just cant seem to find that in me right now
Oops , i kinda started that story half way through didnt i, well on satrurday , i screwed up in as many different ways as its possible to screw up
I drank
I smoked
I took ectasy
I snorted ketamine
i smoked weed
I guess i know why i did it was being back in brighton with all the people i know from there i wanted the buzz back that a good night out used to give me doing all this stupid things i used to
I thought i had it all out my system after that , im ade myself very sick through mixing my drink and taking drugs, thought oh now i did that i wouldnt be tempted again
However that ftheory has not been helped by loosing my job today
well if any thing has positve has come from this at least i learned thast i cant be who i was before, im an addict plain and simple
but with help i will get better
thanks
xxxxx
Tags: Disappointed
