Hi Michelle,

I can so relate to what you wrote. You have a knack for discribing how you feel and thats something i struggle with, I want the kind of recovery you have, the ability to know I'm mad then ask people who can help me for help. Thats good stuff and because of people like you I'm learning how to do it. As for the beating myself up stuff, I know feelings arnt fact but they are real when i feel them and I'm learning it's o.k. to feel how I feel as long as I don't use behind the feelings...They pass then you find that they are a gift from your higher power, a gift that you get to share with the next person who is in pain...I want what you have...keep coming back...your recovering!!! Glad your in my life.  Hugs, Mike

Everybody here has great input.
I'm sorry you went through this. Some people just don't think before they comment. Getting stronger takes time as I have been there myself.
Hang in there sweetie! Tina

Hi Michelle sorry to hear that you are struggling, Is really hard to keep harmony between individuals that suffer from the disease of addiction.
I’m proud of you that you reaching out, that shows your commitment to kill that part, we all have, that’s is self-deceiving and self-defeating.

I believe that if my Hp invite me to be here, to enjoy life, and love; to whom I need to ask for permission to accept me just way I am? It’s just a joy to be yourself, celebrate your inner melody.

Michelle--

When I first arrived to this site, I got a LOT of flack. A lot of people here (especially the older ones who are new to this site, and who don't know you) will go and say things and be hard on you, because they feel it's their God-given right to do all of this. Sometimes, the 'honesty' they present before you is more bitter than arsenic.

I remember I once got a comment on my entry, when I was genuinely depressed, and this woman said to me, as I put it in a nicer form for you, 'Stop your bitching, and get over it'. This was a woman with three children whom she loved dearly. As I look back on it now, I'm sure her children in their teenage years will MORE than compensate for the pain that she caused me for a few days or so.

When I was a child, I was teased constantly. Up until I was 13, when I grew breasts (I swear)...then all the teasing stopped. In any case, I was teased for my entire childhood, and have felt the effects...the residue of all of that pain and anger.

I entered recovery due to my depression, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, and the constant self-harm (both in thoughts and bodily harm).

You can't change people's attitude...not unless they decide for themselves that they want to transform themselves into something better.

You have to realize you're worth it. It being everything life has to offer. And sometimes, the misery and anguish does more damage than being beneficial. Write back to this person, and explain your position in recovery, and talk to them about how it offended you. If they act childish, you know you take their words with a grain of salt. If they apologize, then you move on from there. Life is WAY too short to worry over the grubs who don't know you.

You know you, and you have to be strong for YOU.

If you ever need more advice, don't be afraid to message me :)

Love, e-hugs, and blessings,
Rissy

Hallo beautiful Michelle,

I can relate so well to your feelings here. Don't forget, we are super-sensitive people and (speaking for myself) need to learn to grow thicker skins. My sponsor once told me something very helpful when I was going on about how I felt about something that someone had said to me. She said "Angela, we are all sick people here trying to get better, and some are sicker than others." I remind myself of this continuously (especially the bit about us all being sick) because I still experience the same feelings sometimes about certain things that people say. People mean well, but as we are all in the process of LEARNING, we often fumble...

When I first joined this site,I had a different name. I read something that someone had written and thought it was directed at me...which it wasn't!!! so I immediately deleted myself...only to come back a couple of days later. I will continue to work on my extremely thin skin!

 Don't worry, you are not alone!

Take what you need and leave the rest!!!!!!!

Love and Peace
Angela

There is another little adage that I now take very seriously in recovery: "What others think of me is none of my business". Often we are driven by others expectations of or for us. It can also work the opposite. A well intended bit of advice can drive us nuts. Dont let it.  This is one of those times you simply accept something for what it is (someone elses idea), and choose to either take action or do nothing. If will do something positive for your recovery right now, then it is worthwhile considering. If not, file the idea away in case you ever need it...
Take care,
Dennis