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No time like the present
Posted On 08/29/2008 08:41:57 by Isiah491421

At any moment
I could start being a
better person -

But which moment
should I choose?


I went down to the Friday lunch-time Open Discussion Meeting (AA). On the way there, the usual thoughts went through my mind and I tried to combat them and change my attitude. 

The meeting has shrunk in attendence in the last few years, for whatever reasons. I often get annoyed when I go there because nobody seems to want to chair the meeting. There is a chairperson but they don't always show up, probably due to work schedules. Earlier on in the year, I took on the "chair position" at another meeting (Thursday evenings) and felt I was doing my share of service work so I would get very hot under the collar when I arrived at Friday noon to have almost everyone say "Are you chairing the meeting?" I would do it, somewhat ungraciously and usually after expressing, rather childishly, my unwillingness. After a while, I just showed up dead on time so that someone else would take over and after that, I took to just pointblank saying "NO, someone else can do it."

Today on the way there, I said to myself "Be willing and Gracious, Angela...be of service....do whatever." So I get there and it is exactly the same story!  Once again, after protesting loudly (and childishly), I sulkily opened up the meeting, unable to hide my irritation and unwillingness.

I felt bad about myself but instead of beating myself up, I reminded myself that I am striving for progress and not perfection. I made a concious decision to start my day all over, from that moment on. I apologized for my churlishness and became willing and gracious (I'm a great beleiver in faking it 'till i make it). We read "Just for Today" and the passage on Acceptance from BB.

The meeting ended up being a very good sharing experience for all of us, and we all left with smiles on our faces and kind, friendly words for each other. I am far from perfect but I will continue to work on being a better person right NOW.

I was honoured after the meeting by the approach of an older woman, who has been struggling for a long time, asking me if I would be her sponsor. I have never sponsored anyone before (my last prospect having done a disappearing act). I said yes, I am willing and that it will be a learning experience for the both of us.

Thank you for keeping me clean and sober today

Peace to you all

Tags: Progress Not Perfection



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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: flowerchildofjc
08/31/2008 04:16:14

Hahaha, God worked through your stubborn butt heehee

From: aNiMaL
08/29/2008 15:44:45
Hallo all,
The overwhelming experience i have in carrying meetings by myself is that it is pretty much a waste of my time, which is far better spent going to more viable meetings and talking to the newcomers there, or in some cases, actually enjoying some time off. [Can you say "service junkie?" i like the way you say that.]

Points that are valid from my experience:
An empty room isn't all that attractive ... might be a little problem with tradition 11 there ... a "one man show" might indicate a bit of a problem with tradition 1 ... no one wanting to commit or just trying to avoid someone else ... that could be some sort of problem with the "responsibility" part of tradition 9 or maybe that thing about principles before personalities in 12 ... and between the host facility carrying the rent expense and no willing servants - de facto violations of the 7th tradition [self-support isn't just about finances - it also about folks being willing to step up to the plate and do their part], the disappointment to the newcomer that i've heard several complaints about ... a fair problem with tradition 5, and a certain amount of idiot complaining from observers or "club members" ... again with 11, so some meetings just need to go the way of the Dodo.

The fellowships decide which meetings remain viable, not me! i'm just not that powerful today.

i've had to ask that several meetings be taken off of schedules because they were not viable, but a few of those have been replaced now with far stronger groups....

Sometimes one just has to say "it is what it is."

Pruning a tree often produces much better fruit.

e-hug

From: crow73
08/29/2008 12:47:20

Keep on keeping on my friend! Sponsorship is a good way of giving back! After all we can't keep what we have if we don't give it away! I feel much better today, and don't feel so overwhelmed. I took a suggestion last night (thanks rissy) and I felt full of energy after a good nights sleep! Going to my Homegroup tonight, and just trying to keep this house in running order! I have to remember to take care of myself, and rest when I can. Take care
--Angie Fallowfield

From: DennisS
08/29/2008 11:12:51

Which moment? H*ll, I'd try for all of them, just for something to look forward to. Don't you just love a good challenge?
     As far as service. Yeah, nobody wants to do it. Everybody wants to be an armchair quarterback. Early on, I was secretary for one meeting and often a stand in on two others. I was starting to develop a resentment toward those that weren't exaclty being shining examples of AA in action. Guess what? I was dead wrong. I was comparing my inside with their outside, working their program in my head, taking their inventory. Not a real pretty pile of doodoo I had started to create in my head
     I still do my secretarial duties, often stand in as secretary or  chair for other meetings, mop floors, clean coffee pots, wipe tables, work on the roundup comittee  and do anything else that needs to be done. In fact, I'm happy to be of service, as it pays back those who came before and frees others to do other things they need to do.
      This is a gift of TIME. Mine. The most precious commodity each of us has in this life. Every second ticks away, never to be recovered, gone forever.  I can no longer squander it being resentful - for any reason. I would far prefer granting it cheerfully and sing in my heart while I mop those floors. A miniscule stipend for the "pearl of great price" that He grants me every day.

YFIR,
Dennis

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