Angela -
     The step 8 amends list can be interesting. One way I looked at it helped - it doesn't matter whom did what to whom or who did it first. It's all about my part in it (hurray!!! Its finally all about ME again). If I poisoned your pet aardvark because you intentionally ran over my favorite scorpion, I'm still in the wrong. I owe an amend for the aadrvark poisioning.  Whether or not you apologize for the turtle matters not a whit. My part, my wrong.
     Another way is to look at the actions or inactions that may bother me from my past. Sometimes they just pop up and keep me awake at night. Things I had completely forgotten until they surfaced.
     It's all about the harm I caused others. That's part of that list. Then I take that list or name and pray for the willingness to make the amend. This process can take a long time and must be done carefully, so as not to harm another again. This step is taken not to clear my conscience, it is to make restitution for my wrong actions. Some amends I will make the rest of my life.

YFIR,
Dennis

WOW...  Thank you for sharing.  There is so much to be gained here.... Thank you for allowing us to be part of your recovery... and even more so, thank you for being part of mine.  I want to own it all.... All the good Schtuffs that you all have to give in your Sobriety...  I know that means Surrender... 

God Bless you, Angela!

jodyB

Always a good thing to be in a cheerier mood, no? For me, it's a very long rest that helps me refocus. I remember being stuck on Step 8 too. It was one of the hardest for me, because there were two kinds of people

1) The kind of people who I felt had wronged me
and 2) The kind of people I felt I had wronged

Which one do you think got the most feedback from my inner feelings originally? It's very easy to point out who's skeeved us enough to make us want to tear them to shreds...but what we do for those sorts of people is pray for them. Why? All we can really do. You can't beat someone to a pulp and expect to feel better about yourself. Then you add to your list of regrets...which is something counter-productive to our recovery and overall emotional/mental and spiritual well-being.

Search your feelings, and even though it's hard to...remember the times when you hurt people because of your addiction. And ask for forgiveness (if it's safe to). A lot of times, the people who you ask for forgiveness...they still care for you deeply, and want your well-being just as much as you! It's going to be difficult, yes, but you've struggled a lot to get to this point :)

Keep up the awesome work!

Blessings and e-hugs,
+R

In 8, don't look at who did what to who. Look inside of you, for this phase is about you, and find people you think you screwed around and you still carry feelings about. Most of us had people who did us, and we got even in our own way. In getting even, we MAY still carry some bad feelings about OUR actions.

luv

Glad you are feeling better, dont be too hard on yourself, you are doing great x

Most of your list is available already in your fourth step-and step eight is all about becomming willing- I found a step group helpful, in conjunction with my sponsor of course... Nia

Huggers to you
--Angie F