I had an Awesome experience at Church Saturday nite. First of all, i come from a pretty conservative background... but one of the churchs that i have been attending... is similar to a Vineyard... Very Lively... Lots of Singing, Praising God, Dancing in the aisles, etc.
And i have been struggling a lot with going through some of the trauma
of my childhood. but i started Talking to God, I mean really talking to Him... about things... AND LISTENING!!!! So when i went to church i was ready to hear about letting go, surrendering and being Washed and Cleansed by Jesus...(i know i am getting a bit spiritual...but it i have a point for recovery.)
i had been dancing with the songs... and then when someone was praying about being washed and cleansed... i lay in the aisle against the wall curled up ... just letting the Love and Acceptance flood over me.
the next day, as i was looking at my little Fuzzy Bear i got a prophetic thought... Fuzzy Bear looks up at me with TOTAL LOVE and Dependance. Her story is not unlike my own. My daughter and Husband found Fuzzy about 3 yrs ago under a pile of leaves, shivering, dirty and hungry. They brought her to me...(I never was much for little dogs... i have 2 big dogs in the back yard) but Fuzzy needed me. I tenderly washed her up wrapped her in a towel and held her close. She had horrible breath, and ears had stuff in them that took weeks to clean.... and she had a mamory tumor. When we could afford to, we had herbad teeth pulled as well as getting her spayed and tumor removed.
Higher Power (God, Jesus Christ) is calling out to me for total dependence on Him... To allow Him to take to Pain, the hurt, the anger, and wash it away... even bit by bit.. even though scraping through the dirt and scars may seem to make the pain unbearable... He is telling me that he is holding me... that he is washing me... and has a great big towel to wrap me in...(the comfort of His Spirit... and His people... here)
What a Wonderful Gift God has Given me... What a Wonderful Responsibility to Pass ON!
this is the only "Meeting" that i go to (there are no meetings for Relationship/Sex addiction here)
thanks for letting me share
jodyB
Tags: Surrender Love Clensing
