I was thinking (yeah, I know - bad image). I often reflect on who I was, what happened and who I am now. A progress check between the Boss and I, so to speak.
I started on this journey to find the sobriety pot of gold at the end of the recovery rainbow. Release from the dastardly grip of the evil alcoholism.
At various points in this travail I have discovered that anything worth possessing (pearls of great price) I actually had to work for and what I wanted I could only rent, that I couldn't buy them and go on my merry way. Tanstaffl.
Then I found out that these pearls I found could increase (or decrease) in value depending on the honest effort I expended on this trip. To top that off I learned that only by giving them all away could I keep them. Duh.
The epiphany that the sobriety pot of gold we all search for is but a dangling carrot in front of the donkey on the treadmill could be a bit hard to swallow.
But on the other hand.
One has to look at those pearls that one has gathered and given away. That the journey, once well started is leading to roads, byways and lanes I would have never dreamed of being able to negotiate whilst in my cups. That wonders untold await me for every tuning in the lane.
Yes - there is also the pain, as in anything worthwhile. When it occurs, I have that moment back to "why me, Lord?". Then I remember that I can take that painful event, cherish the learning from it, share it with others of like mind and give it up to God. Later it is miraculously transformed into yet another pearl I can give to others to aid them in their journey.
The price? The toll to trudge this path I have chosen is only my willingness to do His will and not mine. A very, very good thing for this drunk to remember...
Nuff said,
Dennis
OBTW - A dump truck driver.
