I had my youngest for the weekend and she really helps me to stay in the correct perspective. We went fishing, walked along the river for hours each day and enjoyed a bit of sunshine as it had been raining and stormy in Perth all last week.
I was in a good headspace and I text my ex a hello and best wishes. Turns out she was recovering from her Saturday night.
Recovering from what? I asked myself..
Then let my imagination run wild.
I have a very strong spiritual bond with her which annoys her now we are not together. I somehow know when she is experiencing strong emotional feelings and get in touch asking how she is etc. On Sat night I awoke at about 2am with a buzz on, I thought she must be thinking of me in a positive way, I'll text her.
I thought better of this decision... as thanks to my HP I wasn't drunk...
When I contacted her on Sun she was very happy to hear from us, then the recovery thing got me thinking. She has been going hard in the last 12 weeks, every weekend at least. I am so concerned for her, she is still making herself unconcious to the real world 3 months after we broke up. She dumped me though? I'd thought she'd be cool with it.. Please pray for her..
I was temped to drink, as a jealousy thing I think. she's doing it why can't I!?
I prayed for guidance.
It came..
I recorded a demo of a song I wrote about a female friend using meth and what it does, called "White". A much better option that totalling myself!
I've posted this demo if you'd like a listen. http://www.myspace.com/mujis
This is what I need, self - control & a positve outlet for when my emotions start getting the better of me. Day by day I'm recognising my triggers, the many of which there are, and I'm not giving into them. Thanks HP!
My ex calls me a hopeless romantic....
It's time I changed that to just romantic, or maybe a hopefull one!
Take care all & God bless...
